Sometimes, fate truly did like to tug at Morrigan’s strings and test their patience.

Honestly - and they were telling the real, hand to scripture, honest to any of the dead gods truth this time - they had absolutely no part to play in this particular incident. Oh, Morrigan had vandalized before, and they’d done graffiti countless times in the past. But they were tasteful! An artist that brought color and glitter to otherwise drab and dull establishments in desperate need of a touch up! Never would they do something as tacky and ham-fisted as painting messages in blood.

The guards currently holding them by the arms certainly didn’t seem to think that was a perfect defense to exonerate them.

“Unhand me at once!” Morrigan kicked their feet into the air petulantly, unable to worm their way out of the iron grip that either one of the Zeinavian soldiers held on them. “I swear to you on all the sands that Ginma touches that I had absolutely nothing to do with this!” For once in their life!

“Oh, yeah?” The soldier laughed. “Then what were you doing loitering around this street right after it was vandalized?”

“I was walking home!”

“Suspicious.”

“Suspicious-!” Morrigan squawked, indignant, before pausing their kicking. As they stopped resisting, the soldiers stilled, turning to look at them. Once Morrigan had their full attention, they asked in all seriousness, “Were you perhaps, good sir, dropped on your head as an infant?”

One of the guards took that moment to promptly shove Morrigan into the nearest wall on an attempt to get them to shut their trap.

“Ack - watch the face, that’s the money maker!” Morrigan protested, loud enough for any potential bystanders listening. “See, this is the violence inherent in the system!”

At least they hadn’t been the only one apprehended for ‘shifty behavior’. A couple feet away, some triton chick who’d been passing through the street at the same time was being held by some guards, being given much the same suspicious treatment as Morrigan. Jeez, you’d think from the way they were manhandling us, we’d committed high treason against the crown or something instead of some violent prank! Morrigan’s tail swished behind them in irritation, scanning the sizable crowd that had gathered around them, watching the display with unguarded curiosity. Raising their voice, Morrigan hollered,

“Oh, won’t anyone help us? We’re innocent, I tell you! We’ve been framed!” At least, they were pretty sure that the fish chick was innocent. Maybe. Who really cared? What mattered most was getting out of this predicament. “Is there anyone who can attest to our innocence?”

While the purple tiefling may have been innocent, the flailing fish woman most certainly was not. Well, at least for entirely different reasons than the vandalism.

Previously to being apprehended by the guard and hauled down the street like a fisher man's fresh catch, she had just gotten into a drunken brawl with a rich noble's son who thought if he played his cards right he could get lucky. Too bad for him he was poor judge of potential hook ups and Tsarra promptly decked him across the face before threatening to keelhaul his ass. How she would accomplish this with no ship of her own to speak of was a mystery left unsolved since the guard intervened. 

Now she was kicking and flailing against the armored patrol who easily carried her off her feet due to her short stature. The tips of her boots clang against their armor feebly as she tries to kick at them. 

"Lemme go, ye lousy land lovers! Ye got sand in ye britches, ye do. Ye dusty asses deserve ta soak yer heads inna fat lord's chamber pot!" Her words are audibly slurred and she hiccups between insults.

She perks up at the sound of another person's cries and looks across to the other patrol of guards hauling a purple tiefling's ass off to the stockade along with her.

Ugh.

Tieflings.

She didn't have good luck with them. Every tiefling she has met, or person with horns for that matter, has been a complete ass or has betrayed her trust. This fancy looking fellow probably was no different. Even if he was being a pussy whiny ass little bitch crying like pathetic loser.

Shouting for justice wouldn't get them anywhere, not with the Zeinav Corps. There was only one way to deal with guards, and Salina be damned she was getting close to showing them she wouldn't go without a fight. If someone didn't diffuse the situation quickly, the whole street would soon be underwater and filled to the brim with an all you can eat seafood buffet of sea life.

Which for some might be more a positive than a negative.

Among the crowd, a tall, broadly built, fully armored knight walked forward with a hand in the air. Their armor was slightly odd in design, appearing to be comprised of many smaller plates rather than the larger, more solid pieces most suits were made up of, but it looked just as durable nonetheless. On either side of their helmet was a small horn. On their back was a cloak of short black fur that matched the skirt around their waist. They seemed positively knightly as they strode forward.

"I can attest to their innocence!"

At the announcement, several guards looked at each other and murmured. They hadn't expected anyone to vouch for these two troublemakers, especially not some gallant knight. Just from the armor alone, he looked like he was probably important. On top of that, the Tiefling's words were actually a bit true. They hadn't actually seen them commit the crime. Their evidence was circumstantial at best. One guard stepped forward.

"Alright. If you all can find the one that actually committed the crime, we'll let you go. Otherwise, you're both going away for a long long time. And you're responsible for them." He pointed at the knight. "If either of them run for it, you're taking their place. You have one day. How about that?"

The fish lady really wasn’t helping their case. It was lucky that Blue Raspberry leapt out from the crowd in all of their armored glory, looking every bit the part of a proper knight. Were they really a knight? Who fucking cared? What was most important was that the Zeinav solders thought Blue Raspberry was a knight, and therefore that their word could be trusted. When they showed up and came to Morrigan’s aid, the guards immediately weakened, muttering to themselves about what to do. Eventually, they came to a conclusion, before letting both Morrigan and the fish go.

Morrigan rubbed at their arms where they’d been detained, rolling their eyes. What brutes! Whatever. Now that they were free, Morrigan could make a break for it, make their way back to the wagon and run -

But no, little Miss Stormstone and all her righteous anger would probably manifest out of nowhere if she thought Morrigan was going to harm a single hair on that knight’s head. Besides, Blue Raspberry had kind of helped them…

Ugh.

This was going to be a pain in the ass, wasn’t it?

Morrigan forced a wide grin on their face, turning to the suspicious knight who’d offered the ultimatum. “There’s really no need for such violence, my friend! Don’t you know that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar?” They reached into their pocket, pulling out a bundle of flowers that served as potion components, wrapped in a little bit of parchment. They held it out to the guard, a smile on their face. “Here, hold this.” They shoved the arrangements into his hands.^[1]

“What the -“

The guard did not get another word out before his eyes went wide and he fell into a friendly stupor. There, that would make things much easier. They turned to Blue Raspberry and the fish chick, clapping their hands together, turning back to Blue Raspberry with a grin. “Thanks for the assist, my friend. Now. Shall we get to cracking this mystery?”

---

1. Charmer's Bouquet

Tsarra pulls her arms free from the guards as they loosen their grip. Seems the knight had a lot of pull around here. Weird, he didn't look like the rest of the guards in this region. He looked like he was from further north like in the Dragon's Craple or whatever it's called. 

The triton woman gives the guards the stinkeye as they relent and back off thanks to the blue man's vouch of confidence. Though Tsarra is pretty sure he wasn't around when she punched someone. Whatever, she wouldn't complain about some random help. She could have taken the guards though. Definitely. Maybe.

So, who the flapping flatfish are these two colorful weirdos anyway? It didn't seem like the fellblood and the blue man knew each other previously, which makes her suspicious of the knight having some ulterior motives to speaking out for them. 

Just as she's eyeing the blue knight, the fellblood shoves a bouquet of flowers into the hands of one of the guards who quickly is placated. 

The hell??

"Oi! What the 'ell did ye do to that guard?" Tsarra calls out the purple fellblood's suspicious behavior. "Ye handed 'im that bunch o' land weeds an' all a sudden he's like yer best friend or somethin'."

The fish was...not bright, or subtle. Her accusations make the retreating guards pause for a moment and glance back over their shoulders at the group. 

Blue Raspberry gasped in surprise and looked to Morrigan. The fish lady was right! This guard was acting like he was Morrigan's best friend now! And it was after giving him a bouquet of pretty flowers! Did that mean...

Blue stepped close to Morrigan and whispered in their ear. "Is that your boyfriend, Kvasir? He likes plants, right? Is that why you gave him some flowers?" Blue asked giddily. They still hadn't met Kvasir, so they were a bit excited to do so.

"Hi there, I'm Wolfe. Nice to meet you!" Blue walked up to and greeted the guard holding the bouquet, not waiting for an answer from Morrigan. "Don't worry, I'll make sure your theyfriend here gets out of this trouble. I'm surprised just how stern you were being with them though. I thought you'd be a lot nicer to them."

Blue just guessed that, along with plants, maybe Kvasir was really into justice or something like that. He could take his job as a guard seriously enough to even punish his theyfriend if it seemed like the right thing to do. It was kind of impressive. Weird that Morrigan or Astrid never mentioned anything about him being a guard though. Maybe they forgot to mention it.

The other guards looked at each other nervously. Was this knight, Wolfe, saying they'd been too hard on these two? Was he angry at them? One of them thought he'd heard of a knight named Wolfe before. Something about a hellhound attack in Darkveil their cousin had told them about. Was this that knight who had stopped it?

"Uhh. Right. Okay then?" The guard replied, confused, before taking another whiff of the lovely bouquet and promptly turning to leave.

“Huh? No, that’s not my boyfriend.” Morrigan’s eyes narrowed, confused. Had Astrid Stormstone been spreading that stupid rumor again? They had no idea where she’d even got that from. For all that she acted like she knew so much, she sure didn’t understand how adult relationships worked. No matter how much Morrigan tried to explain otherwise, she still had it in her head that Morrigan and Kvasir were a thing, and now all her friends and family had apparently picked up on it. “And Kvasir Sigurros isn’t my boyfriend, either. This is just my new friend, uh.” They blinked, turning to look at the guard. “I’m sorry, what did you say your name was again?”

“Kyle.”

“Kyle!” Morrigan said with a flourish, throwing glitter into the air with the action. That was when the fish chick started raising her voice, drawing attention to the fact that Morrigan had very obviously just put some sort of enchantment on this soldier for everyone in the vicinity to hear. Which - what the hell? Morrigan thought this chick would be cool about things, especially considering they’d been arrested together! Didn’t she want to save their asses from getting thrown in prison? But apparently she was just a big old narc!

“Why, I’m not sure what you’re talking about!” Morrigan declared very obviously and loudly for the retreating guards and the passerby to hear. “I merely asked for his help and, like a good Samaritan, Mister Kyle here offered to help me, isn’t that right?”

“… Sure.” Kyle shrugged, before wandering off, thoroughly confused by the ooze-knight’s confusing words, and leaving Blue Raspberry to watch over Morrigan and Fish Chick.

Speaking of, Morrigan probably needed to know the narc’s name so they could stop referring to her as the Snitch Fish in their head. Lowering their voice, they whispered low enough so that no one else could hear. “The hell are you doing? Don’t you want to get out of this damn mess? I’m trying to help both of us here, lady, so if you don’t want to end up in prison, you’ll help us, alright?”

They turned to Blue Raspberry, nudging the knight in the side. They weren’t actually sure what the hell an investigation consisted of, and Izzy wasn’t here to help them, which meant it was up to them, the ooze, and the fish.

“We should start actually looking at, uh… evidence and whatnot!”

Tsarra frowns at Morrigan as he leans in to whisper after shooing off the guard with the knight's...help? Aye, help. 

"The hell I'm doin'?" Tsarra parrots with indignation. "The hell ye doin'? Yer up ta somethin'. Fellbloods always up ta somethin', ye slimy land eels with legs."

She pokes Morrigan in the chest, not afraid to get right in his face only being a scant two inches shorter than the purple fellblood. She'd been pushed around plenty by folk bigger than her, but she knew how to push back. Fortunately for Morrigan, she wasn't quite at the point of throwing magic around yet. 

"I don't need ye help and I ain't worried about a few guards," she huffs and crosses her arms before looking at Wolfe.

She eyes the knight, he seemed...friendly? Yeah, friendly was the only word that fit this fella. And unlike the false smile Morrigan wore, Wolfe's seemed more genuine. But Tsarra was biased soooo what would she actually know. Her initial impression was already proved wrong about Wolfe not seeming to know Morrigan, turns out they did know one another well enough to talk about some weird dating situation with someone she has no idea who they are. 

Wait, now they're talking about something else. They're going somewhere? And they expect her to go with them for some reason? What? She clearly missed something. 

"What evidence? What did ye do ta get the guards after ye? Ye scam someone?"

The purple fellblood didn't look like the type to throw a punch. He was definitely one of those flowery talking people who used their words to get out of trouble. Silver-tongued was the term, right? Aye, that was it. 

"Oh." Blue replied, disappointed. They thought they'd finally met Kvasir, but oh well. Kyle seemed nice too. But now they were also confused why Morrigan had given the man the flowers. Well, they were pretty flowers. Maybe they were just being nice. The ooze wasn't learned enough on the intricacies of relationships or dating to even consider the possible implications of Morrigan presenting a lovely bouquet of flowers to someone that wasn't their ("not") significant other.

They chose to ignore Morrigan's protest about Kvasir not being their boyfriend. According to Astrid, that was a lie, and they believed Astrid more than they believed Morrigan. They were not hard to fool, but Morrigan wasn't doing it this time.

Blue looked at the angry Fish Lady, their arms crossed in front of them. She still hadn't even told them her name, but she was being awfully rude.

"That's not very nice. I know a very nice Fellblood whose never up to anything and not slimy at all, and I would know if someone was slimy." Blue stated matter-of-factly. Cantio was a great person and it was rude of Tsarra to say something about all Fellbloods just because she was using Morrigan as her example. And it was also rude for her to use slimy as an insult in front of a literal being of slime. That was just offensive.

"And Morrigan isn't slimy either, see?" Blue pointed to the purple Fellblood and their obvious lack of goo.

"Yeah, let's look for that evidence!" Blue said to Morrigan before looking back to the Fish Lady again. They wanted to work together, and were trying to help her too. It would probably be best to try and get along. They offered her a handshake.

"I'm Wolfe, and this is Morrigan. Nice to meet you."

“Up to something?” Morrigan gasped, utterly and scandalously offended at Fish Lady’s accusation. Any other day of the week, she would have been right, too - but they weren’t even up to no good today! Unfortunately for them, they just had one of those permanently shifty expressions on their face that constantly screamed they were up to no good. And they’d had the misfortune of meeting someone who already seemed to have a grudge against fellbloods, and the determination to make Morrigan’s life a living hell that rivaled Astrid Stormstone’s. “Up to something? I’ll have you know that I am an upstanding citizen of Zeinav, thank you very much. You’re making a lot of assumptions about someone who’s been a Good Samaritan to you.”

Then the fish chick poked them in the chest, and it took all of Morrigan’s willpower not to offer her a ghost pepper prank chocolate. But that would be utterly childish and absurd! They were currently trying to fight for their name and freedom under threat of wrongful imprisonment, and despite fish chick’s belligerence, yes, even her own. If they offered her some food of dubious nature, they would not only risk her ire, but also waste precious time. And Morrigan was above that now, yes sir.

So they settled for waving their arm and throwing a handful of glitter in her face instead.^[1]

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about. I’ve never scammed anyone in my life.” Morrigan said, like a liar. “In fact, I don’t even know what a scam is! I’m talking about evidence that will clear our name of this vandalism.”

They gestured towards the writing on the walls, which read things like DOWN WITH THE CROWN and SCORCH THE SANDS. BRING ABOUT CHANGE. You know, obvious things that might directly implicate local radical groups in the area for anyone with half a mind and any semblance of rational thought. It was too bad Morrigan was too obsessed with their own schemes to pay attention to the comings and goings of Zeinavian organized crime to put two and two together.

Then Blue Raspberry jumped to their defense, and Morrigan twirled around, raising their arms in the air. “See, not slimy at all!” They protested. “And neither is this brave knight here. See? A totally normal human, and a totally normal fellblood.”

Nothing suspicious about either of them at all.

---

1. Pouch Sand

"Oh, good fer ye knowin' the one good fellblood in all of Charon," Tsarra says in response to Wolfe with heavy sarcasm and bitterness. "Every fellblood I've met 'as been a lyin' cheat who thinks they're so much smarter than everyone else."

She gives Morrigan the most unconvinced look ever before he flings glitter in her face. 

"PFFT BLEH!" Tsarra flails and blows the particles away, though she does get a good amount in her eyes. "Oi, ye want me ta fillet ye up the middle?!"

Had Morrigan not retaliated, maybe she would have listened to reason. However, a fish's hear is biologically attached to their ability to see apparently so Tsarra wasn't hearing none of Wolfe's vouching or Morrigan's excuses. Reaching for her sword, she instead accidentally grabs a bag on her belt and flings it in the fellblood's direction. Pouring out of the pouch is a swarm of tiny spikey sea urchins which scatter across the ground and scuttle over Morrigan.^[1]

Tsarra rubs her eyes and coughs, the glitter making it hard to see or talk which only puts the triton woman on the defensive. And Tsarra is one of those people who believes a good offense makes for a good defense.

Unable to see anything to fill with a small amount of water to rinse her eyes out with, she instead conjures water from the previously dry earth itself.^[2] The water quickly swells and rapidly floods the entire area, causing chaos as street stalls get swept away in the current and buildings get swamped from water entering through the open doorways. 

The water quickly becomes saturated with sand and dust making it impossible to see through and various pieces of debris lurk beneath the surface. The water even gets high enough to splash up against the vandalized wall, making the pigments run down its surface. 

---

[1] Sea Urchin Caltrops
[2] Flood

Blue didn't even notice the discomfort that Tsarra must have been feeling from the glitter in her eyes, her tossing something to Morrigan and then flailing a bit. They offered her a handshake that she didn't react to at all, the knight just standing there in confusion as to why she wouldn't take their hand. Only then did they notice there was something wrong with her and not that she was (still) just being rude.

"Hey, are you o-" Blue started to ask her what was wrong, but water suddenly started appearing from nowhere, gushing out of the ground and filling up the streets! Any possible evidence that may have been left behind by the true perpetrator of the vandalizing was washed away along with the people, carts, and stalls.

Blue stood rooted to the spot, the thankfully waterproof goo on the bottoms of their boots sticking them firmly to the ground as the water flowed by. They reached a hand out and grabbed onto Tsarra's forearm with one hand, not wanting her to be washed away. They then reached out their other hand and grabbed Morrigan by the first thing they could grasp onto. With Morrigan already starting to float away, the only thing within reach happened to be their tail.

---

Slimy Hands

“Ow, what the hell are these things?” Morrigan shrieked, attempting to kick the spiky little creatures away from them, only to accidentally step on one and get struck with a sharp, stinging sensation up their leg before it went numb. Another one, they hit with their tail only to get the spiky creature stuck on the side of it, like a pincushion. “Get them off of me, get them off of me!”

Their torment, apparently, did not intend to stop there, as water began flowing through the ground, splashing against walls, erasing all of the paint and any possible other traces of evidence away from the scene of the crime - and attempted to take Morrigan with it.

Well. At least they knew that this fish chick had a future as a street cleaner, assuming they didn’t get arrested now that there was nothing left to clear their names.

Morrigan didn’t have time to catch themselves before the current attempted to pull them away. With wildly waving limbs, Morrigan attempted to reach out and grab Blue Raspberry, just narrowly missing - there was nothing left for the ooze-knight to grab ahold of except for Morrigan’s own tail.

Morrigan let out a squeal of pain, squirming around to desperately get free of Blue Raspberry’s death grip. “Ack, watch the tail! You’re gonna yank it right off!” They gasped, spinning around until they were able to plant their sandals firmly on the ground, supporting them.[1] Once there was no risk of getting swept away in the water, or losing their tail, Morrigan yelped, “Oi, the hell are you doing? Are you trying to get us arrested a second time?”

It was rapidly looking that way, given the alarmed shouts Morrigan could hear in the distance. Morrigan sighed, resolve rapidly waning. Oh, well. Worst came to worst they could always make a break back to their wagon and try to get some bribe money for themselves. The fish chick was on her own, though.

And this endless carousel of stupidity continued.

---

1. Rooted Boots

Tsarra washes the glitter from her eyes. "Ugh! Ye purple jerk."

She looks around at the flooded street. That was a lot more water than she intended. It didn't bother her much since this damn desert was too dry to begin with, but the same could not be said for all the other folk in the area lamenting the damage to their stalls and homes.

Damn.

This magic stuff was really fickle and the guards would probably throw a fit again even if it totally was not her fault. 

"Ah, shit. Dumb magic going all crazy again, least it ain't crabs this time," she mutters the last bit as she scratches her fins under her hat. 

Hearing Morrigan yell at her, she snaps her attention to them. She points at him accusingly. 

"Don't blame me! Ye blinded me for no good reason! Yer the one at fault 'ere. If ye don't wanna get arrested, ye shouldn't be scrawlin' weird shit on peoples' walls in the first place. Dumbass." 

Tsarra huffs and raises her hands before shoving them downward, the water slorps away from her and Wolfe, the resulting wave splashing Morrigan before continuing to sweep down the street, leaving them just standing amongst mud and puddles.^[1] A few errant urchins crawl back across the ground and up her boots, unhappy with being thrown out of their moist pouch. 

"There," Tsarra says, satisfied with the water being cleared from the immediate area. She crosses her arms and gives Morrigan a snarky look. "Ye can stop ye annoyin' whinin' now."

"Least ye seem like a decent guy, sorry for soakin' ye," she says to Wolfe. "Magic don't always work the way ye want it, ye know?"

---

[1] Shape Water

"Sorry. It was all I could reach." Blue apologized sadly to Morrigan. When they saw that they'd planted their feet firmly on the ground and rooted themself in place, they let go of their tail. They were a hurt by Morrigan yelling at them when they were just trying to help them not get swept away. Now they just felt bad about it.

"Does it still hurt? Here, let me help." Blue asked as they formed a hurcal ball-sized bubble of blue goo in their hands and then gently tossed it at Morrigan's back. The bubble popped as it hit them, splattering blue slime across them and drenching their entire backside. The slime was surprisingly cool and refreshing feeling and actually did heal surface wounds. It was plenty to heal not only the pain in the Fellblood's tail, but also the few stab wounds they'd received from the urchins as it ran down their legs. It also smelled pleasantly like raspberries.

With that done, Blue turned their attention back to Tsarra.

"Thanks." Blue replied, taking decent as a compliment. "It's okay, I like swimming."

Blue shook their head with their hands on their hips. "Nope, I dunno much about magic. So, it can not always work how you want it? I've never seen that before." Blue said cheerily. "I wish it was crabs. I love crabs! They're real tasty. There were a bunch of them in Sol City, you know. I helped clean up a bunch of them. They made a great hotpot. If you want some, you should go there! Oh, right. I'm Wolfe. What's your name?"

Blue reached a hand out for a handshake again, hoping nothing happened to interrupt their greeting a second time.

---

Bouncing Bubble