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Post by Sylvari Dawnsage on Sept 13, 2023 18:14:48 GMT -5
Far from confusion, or revulsion, Sylvari found nothing in her heart save for understanding as Adam told her of his struggle. Gods. I thought I had it hard enough just ruining my own fate. If he can see the Fate of others, there's no way anyone with a good heart wouldn't feel responsible. And his feelings of helplessness... I know what it's like to not even have the dignity of control in your own life.
Sylvari laid a light hand on Adam's shoulder. She wanted more: to pull him into a tight embrace, for him to look in her eyes as she comforted him, but she was well-aware the last thing a person feeling helplessness wanted was for even more control to be wrested from them. So the small touch was all she allowed herself as she spoke from the heart.
"That can't have been easy to share, Adam, so thank you, for trusting me with it. I wish I could share in your pain, to shoulder the burden alongside you, so I could truly empathize with you, but the truth is that no one can, or likely ever will. Each person's hardships are unique and varied, and all bear them differently. I don't mean to make you feel isolated or disquieted, quite the opposite. I just want you to know your suffering is valid, and you don't have to justify trauma to anyone. The difficulty I've faced in no way makes yours lesser, or vice versa, even though outsiders might try to argue which has been worse. So all the platitudes that I've come to know, even when said from good intentions fall flat of the mark. I won't patronize you by pretending to know your unique experience, nor will I try to motivate you with stories of others' success. I'm not so arrogant to think I can take away your pain with clever words or the right combination of arguments. I'm just willing to be here, another failure, struggling in the dark."
Sylvari shuffled a little closer and looked up at the night sky, impossibly filled with twinkling starlight out here, away from the city lights. She did still want to provide encouragement to her new friend. Her father's words leapt to her mind to fill that void, as true now as they were back then, when her feelings towards him were no more complicated than the unadulterated love a small child felt for their parent. "A hero is not defeated until he falls for the last time. Whether you leap or run or walk or crawl to your destination, forward momentum is the most important thing on the path to the rest of you life. The path you are destined to walk."
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Post by Adam Hollyleaf on Sept 17, 2023 13:09:00 GMT -5
Even with how light it was Adam initially flinches at her touch, but it's enough to have him look up from the grass in front of him. He tried his hardest to fight the tears that were welling up at the corners of his eyes but to no avail for as Sylvari finished speaking they flowed down the half-elf's freckled face. Her words hit him right in his core, and he just broke down. yet after a couple seconds he took a deep breath to try and collect himself "Thank you, Sylvari. I had a feeling that you'd somewhat understand and not jump to instantly calling me crazy as previous people have." a small smile appeared on his face, as this wasn't like any reaction he had gotten while explaining his curse, but his face dropped a little bit into an expression of slight guilt. "Though I do want to apologize for that, I tried to remain composed but it feels like every time I try to describe what is effecting me I tend to unravel. Which is sort of ironic because of the threads." he let out a tiny laugh at his joke as he wiped some of the tears from the corner of his eye.
As Sylvari gazed up Adam did as well, only to see the largest collection of stars that he has ever seen in his entire life. He hadn't fully acknowledged it since he had left Sol City, but it was almost other worldly to him. He was quiet as he lost himself in thought of what was up there and how the sky came to be what is it now, until his friend spoke up again. He let out a deep sigh "It's quite an interesting dilemma isn't it, I am able to see everyone's destination. But I don't even know mine. Like what even am I supposed to do with these threads, I'm not sure if I should do anything with them since the only time I even touched one of the threads it snapped." He shudders and closed his eyes as he is reminded of the feeling of something flowing into him as said thread snapped and an even more visceral vision following. Flashes of the vision appeared in his head, his Mother's horrified face, the smell of fresh blood in the the air, and lastly the desperate sobs of his brother Omin. Last flash was of his eldest brother's face Cerrin, yet there was no breath or signs of life; he full on flinched at that sight, despite having seen it hundreds of times at this point. He eventually opens his eyes back up and his eyes spoke of the regret, dread, and guilt of being unable to stop fate no matter how hard he tried.
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Post by Sylvari Dawnsage on Sept 17, 2023 13:50:51 GMT -5
Sylvari considered Adam's words quietly for a few moments before speaking, uncharacteristic for her, but she was aware of the delicacy of the situation. "Just because you have this special power, doesn't mean you can be expected to know perfectly the mysteries of the world. You just need to keep trying, inch by inch, day by day. I can't say with certainty that you'll find all the answers you seek. Considering my situation, foresight isn't exactly my strong suit." Sylvari gave a light smile at the self-deprecating joke, which didn't sting as much as it normally would, in the presence of a companion.
"But I do know that you will never regret trying your best and pressing forward. You can be forgiven for not knowing the right path to take in every circumstance, but if you refuse to take the journey altogther, that is truly lamentable. For what it's worth, I'm glad you chose to follow the threads, at least tonight. You've given me much insight and helped me understand the nature of the things I wrestle with. I can't promise to reciprocate in magnitude, but I'm willing to listen and offer you my support where I'm able. Only you are capable of directing the path of your life, however, and I won't, nor anyone should, take the reins from you."
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Post by Adam Hollyleaf on Sept 19, 2023 16:22:01 GMT -5
A small laugh escapes Adam at her joke though another sigh follows "Whether I like it or not I think that I have enough foresight for the both of us and even beyond that" He then ran his hands through his white fluffy hair and laid back onto the soft grass, he then let out a small frustrated groan. "Gods, at time I wish the search for these answers wasn't as complicated as it has been. I've gone to almost every library in Sol City, but every book and scroll either has conflicting information or stuff that I already know. Also a weird amount of sewing books have such really ominous titles, those are always frustrating to pick up." he let a small snicker at the amount of times he had thought he had found something useful but it turned out to teach him how to sew on a button. Though he had picked up a good set of sewing techniques just from the misunderstandings.
Now it's Adam's turn to quietly contemplate her words, as he thought he brought his hand up to his mouth and muttered to himself in elvish. He soon snapped out of his trance-like thinking "Ah, sorry about that, It helps to talk to myself as I think. I've only ever regretted following a thread only a couple of times, Fate as a bad sense of humor so it likes to throw me into bad spots at times. Which I thought this was going to be when you showed up in your dark armor being all spooky, then again I just get scared easy. But that's besides the point, I hope that one day I'll have a better understanding of what exactly the threads are and what I even am." He holds his hands out in front of him for a second, his eyes tracing the crease on his palms as he wonders his part in all of this. A small smile appears on his face as her last statement sounded familiar "Ya know, that's almost exactly what Ai said when I asked her if she believed in fate, but anyways what's next for you Sylvari?"
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Post by Sylvari Dawnsage on Sept 19, 2023 16:40:40 GMT -5
Sylvari laid down on the ground beside Adam and listened as he spoke, staring up at the night sky and enjoying feeling of the gentle night breeze as it rustled the grass around them. "Well, I think she's right, same as I am. Then again, Dad always said I was more of a fighter than a thinker, so I'm not sure it's exactly a ringing endorsement." Sylvari gave a light giggle at that, taking a pause to think about Adam's question.
What's next for me? I'm tired of letting life -unlife- just happen to me. I cannot change what I am now, so I may as well make the most of it and master this power to aid me in my mission. "I will continue to travel. I was so naïve to the ways of the world before my change and have learned so much just in my brief journey since. Surely somewhere in this wide world, there exists someone who can teach me to master the thirst within and use the powers I have toward my aim of being a hero to those that need it. I don't know how long it will take me, but I think we've established time isn't exactly a factor for me. Rest assured, I won't stop until I am my own master once again. I won't let evil win."
Sylvari clenched her fist as she held it heavenward, a challenge to any who would try to stop her mission.
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Post by Adam Hollyleaf on Sept 20, 2023 23:49:42 GMT -5
"well I honestly think that you and her would get along quite well, you're both good people that's been through hell and back which makes you two way tougher than I'll ever be." He held up his arm allowing loose sleeve to roll down exposing his skinny tanned arm to emphasize his lack of physical prowess. "Then again if it wasn't obvious at this point I am a thinker and not a fighter, even though I know spells are designed for combat." He chuckles as he remembered a younger Adam excitedly learning those spells and how proud he was of himself for getting the right incantations with it.
"I'm probably in the same boat, well minus the need to prevent evil from winning. Since my curse isn't seen as "evil" I guess, though mine is hardly even documented about at all so I'm not sure it's known enough to be considered evil. But that's besides the point my plan is to just keep traveling like I have been, taking as many academy jobs as far away from Sol City as I possibly can. I want to see the world that I have only read about in the academy logs and document all of it so when I return it could be added to the wealth of knowledge that is already present there. Maybe even during my travels I'll find a master as well, hopefully someone who has the same curse as I do or at the very least someone versed enough in the arcane to train me." He held his other hand up towards the heavens as well as he let small trails of electrical energy bounce between his hands like a closed circuit. "Then of course one day I hope to meet up with Ai again, and maybe even do the impossible and find who my father is" he absentmindedly pondered as he watched the blue cracking energy travel from the veins in his hands to his fingers and then bounce to his other hand to repeat that cycle over and over again.
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Post by Sylvari Dawnsage on Sept 21, 2023 9:59:46 GMT -5
Sylvari felt her blood turn to ice and her mouth contort to a painful frown as Adam spoke of reconnecting with his father. Gods, parents. A million miles away and further to actually reach. In truth, Sylvari wanted exactly the same, but she knew it was an avenue forever closed to her now. She could never go back without being hunted as a fiend and an oathbreaker. In the time since her change, Sylvari had found herself thinking of her mother more than any time in her life, save for shortly after her passing. Perhaps such was understandable, but she couldn't help but think herself opportunistically abusing her mother's memory. I only give you the thoughts you're due when Dad kicked me out. Sorry, Mom; you deserve better than that.
Sylvari pushed the thoughts away with great effort. This isn't the time to feel bad for myself. A friend is pouring their heart out. How selfish can I be? She looked over to Adam as the pair laid side by side in the grass. "You'll be alright Adam, regardless of if you find what you're looking for or not. I've seen the resilience of your spirit, and you have the determination of those who would be legends. One way or another, you'll get to where you're meant to be."
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Post by Adam Hollyleaf on Sept 26, 2023 15:49:05 GMT -5
"Well, seeing that I have a connection to fate, I'm not sure if I have a choice in where I end up. Though Fate hasn't misplaced me yet, so for the meantime, I will follow until that happens." he let out a slight snicker, though he was only half joking. His hands tensed as he thought of the day Fate would drag him somewhere he did not want to go. Would he protest or allow himself to get pulled further into a fate he didn't like? The unintentional tensing of his hands caused the circuit slowly to quicken until there seemed to be a constant stream of electricity flowing in the space. His eyes narrowed as he focused on each trail of crackling energy, eyeing tiny specs of gold hidden within the bright blue. He flexed his hands more as the bright blue started to shift to a more prominent gold, likening them to the threads.
The color shift made Adam quickly sit up, careful not to shift his hands too much as he didn't want to lose concentration. Holding his hands closer to himself, he strained even more to increase the color change, and he felt like he was drawing from a different source instead of his regular mana. Then his eyes widened as he realized he hadn't taken a breath this whole time, finally let in a sharp breath although losing his concentration on the circuit. "Please tell me you say that Sylvari?" He asked in confusion as he turned to face her. He shook his hands as they were left tingling from keeping the circuit going. "I'm not entirely sure what that was, but I have two theories. One is that I was tapping into a different source of mana that I didn't know, or Two is that my curse has started to make its way from just my eyes into other parts of my body, like my bloodstream, which is then affecting my mana. I'm hoping my first one is correct since I'd rather not have my whole body be affected by that." He let out a fake, stressed-sounding laugh at the thought of his condition getting worse.
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Post by Sylvari Dawnsage on Sept 26, 2023 17:32:25 GMT -5
Sylvari blinked in surprise as Adam shot bolt upright, following suit soon after him. He seemed focused on something in front of him, gently flexing his hands as he stared at phantasms. Sylvari gasped, not seeing whatever Adam did, but [Chaos Touched] she sensed a swelling of arcana, powerful and unique. It wasn't like the normal channeling of a spell that she was used to sensing; it was as if Adam was tapping into the underlying current of the great river of arcana that powered the world. Maybe not phantasms after all. He was right. What must it be like to be subject to such power? He seemed excited, or at the very least surprised, as he inhaled suddenly and loudly.
Sylvari took a few moments to compose herself and order her thoughts before speaking. "I didn't see it necessarily, but given my nature I sensed... something. What was that, Adam? It was like you were holding the arcana of the land itself in your hands. I didn't sense anything like this before with your threads."
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Post by Adam Hollyleaf on Oct 2, 2023 17:55:57 GMT -5
Adam's eyes widened as he tried to make sense of the overwhelming surge of energy he had just experienced. It was unlike anything he had encountered before, a sensation that seemed to flow from the very essence of the world itself. He flexed his fingers experimentally, trying to reconnect with the lingering magical current running through his hands. As Adam tried to comprehend the surge of energy, flecks of gold seemed to linger in his eyes. These shimmering specks, a visual imprint of the magic, twinkled with an ethereal glow. They danced with each blink, yet he was unaware of the sudden changes as his focus was elsewhere.
"I... I'm not entirely sure," Adam began, his voice filled with a mix of awe and uncertainty. "It felt like tapping into the heart of Charon, as if the land itself responded to me. I don't know but the threads seemed to intertwine with the arcana, and in that moment, I felt as if I could... perhaps make new threads into existence, or maybe it was just a glimpse into something greater."
He took a deep breath, attempting to focus and gather his thoughts amidst the rush of emotions. "I've studied magic for years, but this was different. It wasn't a spell, per se, more like... a conversation with the magic that weaves through everything. It was as if the world whispered its secrets to me, offering the chance to shape it, if only for a moment."
He looked at his hands, feeling the energy within them, and then extended them towards Sylvari, palms facing each other. "I wonder... Can you see this or am I the only one that can? Do you not see the blue crackling in my hands right now." Adam concentrated, trying to visualize the arcane currents that danced around his fingers, his uncertainty growing as he hoped that Sylvari could physically see the magic, or if the curse allowed him to visualize his spells to a certain degree.
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Post by Sylvari Dawnsage on Oct 2, 2023 21:07:11 GMT -5
Sylvari shook her head ruefully. "I can't. I'm sorry, Adam. I can sense that the weave of arcana is present, and normally can even tell the domain of spells being called upon, but this is different. It's raw, unfinished; it's like you said, the magic of Charon itself. I'm not so naive to think that such power is universally a good thing, but it's clear to me that you have been entrusted with something ancient, secret, and potent. If you were able to tap into such power on demand, to use it to fuel your other disciplines, or bend the raw arcana itself, I daresay you'll live up to my nickname for you, little archmage."
Sylvari gave a playful smile at her joke, but she was concurrently aware of the gravity of the situation. Her hand lingered on Adam's arm, a silent gesture indicating nearby support. Power almost always looks better from without, and Sylvari had learned that it was often isolating.
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Post by Adam Hollyleaf on Oct 6, 2023 12:03:23 GMT -5
Adam looked at Sylvari with a mixture of awe and anxiety. Her words about the raw, untamed magic within him had begun to weigh heavily on his mind. He started to feel a growing sense of unease about his responsibility. "I appreciate your honesty, Sylvari," he began, his voice tinged with uncertainty. "But I can't help but wonder about the implications of all this ... What does it mean for me? What am I supposed to do with it?"
As he spoke, he stood up from his seat, his pacing reflecting the growing anxiety in his thoughts. He turned to face Sylvari, his eyes filled with a mixture of gratitude and concern. "I need some time to think about this, to understand the gravity of what I've been entrusted with," he admitted. "I don't want to rush this, especially when dealing with something as potent."
Adam took a deep breath, realizing he needed to clear his head and process everything. He reached out and gently patted Sylvari's hand. "Thank you for tonight, Sylvari. It's been wonderful to have your support and guidance. I wish you the best on your journey, and please remember you're not a monster. You're a remarkable person with a gift,"
With that, he offered her a sincere smile, "I hope to see you again someday" his mind racing with the newfound mysteries of his own abilities, and started to walk away to find some solitude to reflect upon the path ahead. Adam took a few steps away from Sylvari, his mind still grappling with the weight of the conversation. As he distanced himself from her, he began to mutter softly in Elvish, finding comfort in the familiar cadence of his mother’s language.
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