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Renown
Half-elf
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Post by Sarris on Aug 17, 2022 13:30:20 GMT -5
Sarris was on her knees and grabbed his wrist and held on to him. It was an invitation to come up. Through tears she looked at him and said, “That event changed my whole life… The knife reminds me everyday what happened.” She closed her eyes. A pair of eyes peered from the darkness of the loft and crawled forward. She was a little blond in a hand me down dress. Her eyes teared up as she came closer. She pressed a hug on Sarris, and gave Ray a look to hug them.
Sarris was not sure what she wanted at that moment. “I want to forgive you…” she started.
Nathander picked up the rock and flipped it twice in his hand. He stood up and and walked out of the stall handing Lord Sarne the rock as he left. All this was confusing him.
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Fighter's Guild
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Elf / Humen
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Post by Ser Sarne Sequoia on Aug 17, 2022 21:45:46 GMT -5
"Nathander, Wait" Said Sarne. he turned to look him in the eyes. "this is something from our past a long time ago something that I and my cousin have to work through," explained Sarne. Looking up at the sky Sarne then sighed. "Nathander, see me later about training for you," ordered Sarne. "Don't be late, and don't make me regret what I am thinking for your future," said Sarne with a grin.
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Fighter's Guild
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Renown
Half Human - Half Moon Elf
Ray Castien, my character https://talesofcharon.proboards.com/thread/660/ray-castien-character-page
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Post by Ray Castien on Aug 19, 2022 19:03:48 GMT -5
Ray was shocked by the grasp, but the little girl's teary face gave him no choice but to concede. He moved up the ladder and into the loft gently. Crouching down he gave Sarris a light hug, he was never really very touchy as a person but he'd push himself for this. He patted her on the back lightly as he held her.
"I promise I'm not that man anymore, the only part that survived til today was the part that handed you that knife..." He was tearing up again now.
"It's not something I like to think about...But, without these regrets, I wouldn't be tryin to change myself... You were a big part of that... I'm sorry... but also, thank you..." He pulled her in tighter, almost for his own comfort.
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Post by Sarris on Aug 19, 2022 21:02:33 GMT -5
Sarris looked at Ray and said, “I thought about pushing you off the loft.” She laced and wiped her eyes. “I could not do it.,” she said looking at him. She reached for the treat and split it giving him half.
Then splitting her half of it and sharing it with her loft mate. “If I did I would have taught the children that violence is how we deal with pain,” she explained.
The loft creaked a bit as she shifted.
“His face haunts me almost every night. The smell of his blood, the sticky feel, the look of surprise, the sound of his dying breath…”she said getting quieter, still loud enough that Nathander and Sarne could hear her. “The pleasure of revenge mixed fear. He haunts me worse in his death than he did in life. He has more power over me now…. and I can’t fight a memory….” She said. There was no redemption for her, no atonement. No escape.
“How do you take a life and live with it?” She said loud enough that even some of the Vanguard passing by outside could hear her. Very few knew that part of her story.
She looked at Ray and asked, “How do I get a new start?”
Nathander looked at Sarne, a bit in shock and concerned. He knew Sarne protected and put up with Sarris’ games more than anyone should have. She got away with things that no one else did.
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Fighter's Guild
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Elf / Humen
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Post by Ser Sarne Sequoia on Aug 23, 2022 10:29:59 GMT -5
Listening to Sarris. Sarne had to face his demons of killing. Sarne knew firsthand what it was to take a life. Each time Sarne feels like he loses part of his soul. The only comforting thought is what you did to save your life or someone else's. thought Sarne.
Sarne just watches as people walked by any Vanguard that stopped too long he moved them along they did not need to know his cousin's business. He would wait to see what Ray had to say first he was the older one of them and his experience with the guilt of his crimes might be a piece of good advice for Sarris.
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Fighter's Guild
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Renown
Half Human - Half Moon Elf
Ray Castien, my character https://talesofcharon.proboards.com/thread/660/ray-castien-character-page
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Post by Ray Castien on Sept 3, 2022 7:38:20 GMT -5
Ray knew much of being haunted by the past, this situation was just one of many in which his demons arose again to taunt him with guilt.
"The only way I've found to move forward from things such as this is to all yourself to feel the feelings you want to hide from... You have to cry and beat yourself up for a while, but you've also got to learn to forgive yourself..."
He dropped his head, looking down with his eyes closed. Thinking of the people, the families, he'd killed and the screams of the dying he still dreamed of at night.
"The pain will always remain, the nightmares will linger far longer than you expect, but once you manage to forgive yourself it all gets so much easier."
"Taking someone's life that wanted to take your own isn't murder, it's survival. if anyone killed him, it was he, the choices he made gave you no choice."
Ray patted Sarris and cried himself, never had he realized that even those who survived his actions were so hurt by them.
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Post by Ser Sarne Sequoia on Sept 4, 2022 23:53:03 GMT -5
"Even when you do the right thing like killing bandits or even Goblins. They have a family too. I have had to look into their children's eyes their wife's eyes. As their husbands are laid on the ground before them dead. See cousin we all have our demons to deal with. and yes I see their faces too. Hear their screams in my dreams. I have to take one day at a time and just have to believe I did the right thing and survived." said Sarne solemnly. looking at both of them with a tear in his eye.
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Post by Sarris on Sept 6, 2022 10:12:25 GMT -5
Sarris looked at the two strong men in her life. “Finally saying it kind of helps,” she said. Ten years was a long time to let it eat at her. A one of the child brought out tea cups and started to boil the water.
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