Sylvari sat rather uncomfortably at the corner table of the Purple Lantern Inn, thumbing the glass rim of a drink she wouldn't consume. She was wearing her fetching evening attire that she had selected with her friend Hadassah in Sol City. The dress was sleek and form-fitting, but not suffocating. It was bereft of the ruffles and excess laces that Sylvari disliked, seeming a continuous piece of black silk sculpted perfectly for her body. The garment was bare at the arms, save for a line of fabric, about a hand wide, that draped over her left shoulder, holding the outfit in place. It snaked down her body, hugging and supporting her gentle curves as it fell down to her ankles, unbroken in its simple beauty, save for a leg slit on the right side that went just above knee-level.



The dress used to make her feel powerful and confident, but now, she just felt exposed without her armor, despite her own inclination to wear the thing. She didn't much care for the obvious allegory for emotional vulnerability that she was in the midst of, as her friend Videl sat across from her, the silence cacophonous, as neither had managed to speak. In the lively taproom of the tavern, they sat quite at odds with the prevailing mood, stoic awkwardness prevailing between them.



It was a fact that Sylvari wholly blamed on herself. Videl had been the one to request this discussion. He was always the one to try and smooth things over between them. She just ran away: when she couldn't physically, it was an emotional flight. They'd scarcely spoken since the attack on the ship some days ago, with the vampiress avoiding the awkwardness of their looming conversation clouding their interactions by always finding some other thing to distract her attention. Sylvari sighed.



"So.... V... what did you wanna talk about?"

Videl had been waiting for this day for quite awhile now and yet, now that it was here, he simply froze up and added to the awkwardness that had been displayed between the pair of them. Unlike Sylvari, whom had chosen to wear something that was drastically different from her usual wear, Videl had worn basically what he had every other day. The only exception to this was that his parka had been left behind and his mantle had taken a more prominent role in covering his upper torso. Add in the fact that he had nothing beneath this mantle, thus leaving his slightly toned abs on display, and one could say that the two were a bit out of their element.

At present, Videl couldn't even meet with Sylvari's gaze. Any time he had turned his attention towards her, her form fitting dress would steal it away, and Videl didn't wish to embarrass Sylvari with his wandering gaze. Feeling that he wasn't at all prepared for what the night might hold, Videl could do nothing more than keep his eyes firmly placed upon the Pekoe Pod that he currently held within his grasp. Out of all the things that he had come to appreciate about Moonglade, these Pekoe Pods had been amongst his favorite. The particular flavor of this one had been orange blossom, and this much had been indicated by the color of the liquid contained within.

Much like every other time he had found himself lost within his thoughts, it would ultimately take Sylvari to pull him from out of his mind and back to the present. Once she had, he would awkwardly cough a bit before attempting to turn his gaze back to meet with her eyes. It was a bit difficult with his current position, given that she adorned the veil that she always wore, but he knew that his eyes had been locked with her own. He knew her well enough by now to know where her eyes had been, even with the veil in the way.

"Well.." Hoping to simply get this out and over with, Videl would partake in a quick sip of his tea, before continuing on. "I wanted to start by apologizing.. I've been exceptionally emotional since we rekindled things and quite honestly, that's not fair to you. It's not even your fault, really.. I don't know what it is, or how to really express it, but my emotions have been a bit more prominent since my magic has grown. I'm not sure if this has anything to do with Salina or not but, and I know that this is no excuse, it is all that I can think of to explain things.. Well that and the whole Azazel situation.. It's led me to be a bit paranoid.. and rather than speaking with you about it, I've been keeping it in. Trying to put on a happy face so that I didn't burden you with my emotions. I just.. I really don't want to lose you Sylvari. So I want to come clean. About anything and everything."

The vampiress pursed her lips into a slight frown as Videl spoke. He was clearly in pain, and at least a portion of the problem was that he didn't feel he could share his emotions with her.

"V, I don't want to be an emotional tyrant. I know I'm not... the best with feelings, but that shouldn't bar you from getting what you need to say off your chest. I don't know how it got to this point. I just wish things could go back to as simple as they used to be." Sylvari sighed, overwhelmed by the situation. She pressed her fingers to her eyes beneath her veil in exasperation.

"Let's take it one thing at a time, I suppose. The shifter situation. I understand that your felt very strongly about it, and I promised that I would not hold your actions against you. It seems to me, however, you don't want my forgiveness. You want understanding, acceptance, even. So make me understand. Why did it affect you so mightily?"

Videl couldn't help but look away guiltily as Sylvari spoke on the subject of Azazel once more. She had been willing to try and understand where he was coming from now but it hadn't felt like that when he mentioned it in the past. Could she really accept what he had to say? Why it had bothered him so much? All while ensuring that she didn't blame herself for his actions? He hadn't believed so.. but didn't have much of a choice but to speak on it now. Whatever will be will be.

"It's just that.." Whilst turning his gaze back towards Sylvari's own, Videl would begin to swirl the pod within his hand, the liquid following the motion as he had done so. "..I didn't like how he knew so many things about us. While he didn't outright vocalize that he knew these things, he continued to allude to them. In ways that left me exceedingly uncomfortable. The way that he spoke of you.. It left me feeling confused and irritable. I don't really know how to explain it at this point. Even if you would agree with some of the things he said.. It's the way that he said them that bothered me to such a degree."

Quite a bit of time had passed since all of this had actually happened. If his memory had been infallible than he likely could have answered her question without issue. Given how much time had passed though, even Videl wasn't quite aware of how to explain the emotions that he had felt at that time. Since then, these emotions have grown exponentially and twisted themselves with his array of hurt. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't fully recall everything in this moment.

"I know that you might not be too happy about this but.. You really are the most important person to me. One of the only people that I can entrust my whole self to. To hear someone speak ill of you.. It bothers me in ways that I cannot even fathom. It'd be one thing if it was someone that didn't know you at all but.. The manner in which he spoke so clearly made it seem like he had been following us. Even now, I worry that he might be nearby. That's why.. Why I've been so high strung lately. I really am sorry.. I don't want to be like this.. It's just hard to deal with these emotions when I'm worried how they might be taken.."

The one thing that he actively wanted to avoid was a fight with Sylvari. Not a verbal disagreement like they often had but a physical altercation. The words that she had spoken after his elemental had slaughtered that bandit.. He still remembered them so clearly. How she spoke on ending him if he became a threat. As if he was what she had to worry about. "..I don't want to become an issue for you, Sylvari. And the only reason I'm so scared to bring up some of these things is because of that. I don't want to chase you away. I don't want to fight. And most of all, I just don't want to hurt you."

Sylvari slumped back into her chair and sighed as Videl finished his piece, swirling her glass to watch the liquid dance along the inside. In a fit of black humor to vent the dark emotions that their conversation, Sylvari mumbled to herself, "There's not much left of me to hurt that hasn't already been pierced."

Shaking her head to clear the macabre thoughts, she leaned forward to place her hand over Videl's. "I don't know if I'll ever truly understand what happened in Zeinav City. I don't know this shifter, this Azazel. But I know you, V. I know you have a good heart. I know you want so desperately to protect me, even though such a task was never required of you..." Sylvari trailed off her voice, trying to suffuse her goodwill into her words with the following pause and accompanying squeeze of his hand before continuing.

"I also know that we can't fight phantoms. Perhaps he is following us. Perhaps he's in this very room with us at this moment, but what is worrying about it going to do? I'll tell you: it will fray your nerves until you're no longer able to fight properly. The best way to combat this evil is to let go of your paranoia."

Sylvari place her other hand around her friend's, enveloping his within her own. "I'm not going anywhere. I won't abandon you for your rough edges. As broken as I am, that would be the height of hypocrisy. Justice may be the most important thing in my life, but you are the second."

Videl could feel his heart beginning to pound against his ribcage as Sylvari had took a hold of his hand. In the moment that she had squeezed it, his cheeks would even take on a shade of crimson. Unlike Sylvari, there was nothing there to hide his blush, and as such it had been on display for all the world to see. Some of the staff had even given it a bit of a smile, not quite being close enough to hear what they were saying but definitely close enough to see the affectionate act between the two.

His heart would also leap into his throat as Sylvari had continued speaking, going as far as to claim that he was the second most important thing in her life. While Videl knew that she had been the first and foremost most important thing in his own life, he hadn't even ranked himself as third within hers. There were too many factors to consider. This oath of hers. Any lingering emotions that she might have for her family. The friends that she had made along the way, even if she didn't spend nearly as much time with them as she had with him. Even Noe and Mercy. They might be considered servants to some but Videl knew better than to think that they held the same title while under Sylvari's purview.

The crimson hue that rested upon his cheeks could only grow a shade darker as he thought over how important he had been to her. If that was truly the case, then why did she make such claims against him? And why had she kept so many things from him? All of his worries had washed away in that moment, in addition to any lingering questions that he might hold for her. Despite his claims, he hadn't fully trusted her with everything. But now? Now he had felt as though he could.

"I understand where you are coming from.. I'll be sure to keep all of this in mind from now on." A moment of silence would wash over Videl as he had attempted to put his thoughts into words. It was then that he had decided to simply speak from his heart. There was no need for him to think so hard about things. Not when it had come to the one that he had loved so profoundly. "I may not fully understand why it is that you go so far, even with you having told me bits and pieces of your past, but I'll do my best to keep to my word." With a slight flick of the wrist, Videl would allow for his glacial mana to run from the tips of his fingers and onto the bottom of the legs of the chair that he had been sitting in. In an instant, the bottom of these legs would find themselves frosted over ^{[Ice Over]}. From there, he would simply nudge the ground with his foot, sending his chair careening a few inches over before stopping just beside Sylvari's own.

"You know.." Taking the moment to rest his head upon Sylvari's shoulder, his breath now close enough to leave a cool chill at the nape of her neck. "I don't expect you to fully understand why these things bothered me so. You might understand my affections but even I cannot express their depths.. When compared to any other that I have met, you simply found your way to the top of my everything. I honestly feel as though I'd be lost without you.. In fact, we already know that I was.." His gaze would then lower itself, briefly taking in the dress that she had been wearing. Honestly, why had she decided to dress to fancifully for this occasion? "I just wish that I could understand these emotions.. Both yours and mine. Why do we feel the way that we do, Syl? If I could just understand this.. Things would be so much simpler."

Hells. I'm really not equipped to deal with this. The one thing Sylvari hated about Videl was how he was a constant reminder of her emotional failings. He gave her too much credit. She didn't have the first clue as to the particulars of his affection. In her eyes, the vampiress was a detestable, useful tool: a necessary evil for the sake of her crushing greater evils. Such a person was to be tolerated or, at the very most, admired in concept from afar. She certainly did not expect to instill loyalty or affection in those she encountered, nor had she tried to.

As ever, unable to speak her true feelings, for her failings in even identifying them, the justiciar spoke in parallels. "The road before us is long. No one knows the whims of fate in coming days. The time may come when our feelings change or fall away entirely. Ours is just to hold on until such time. There are many mysteries in the world, and smarter people than I agonize over them. What is simply is. Wondering, wishing, and hoping does nothing to change present challenges."

Too harsh, idiot. Too harsh by half. Your friend is baring his heart to you and all you can do is tell him to suck it up and wait for feelings to change.

A soft sigh would run past the T'saya's lips as he pulled slightly away from the vampiress, his gaze turning towards the ceiling of the building that they were in. He hadn't expected her to offer him much but this.. This felt like too little. Why push off the topic for the future when it can be discussed now? Emotions were a mysterious thing. A true wonder of the world. And all that he was requesting was that the pair face their current emotions and at least talk about them. Even if the conversation hadn't gone anywhere. It would have simply been better in his eyes for them to get it all out in the open. To trust one another with these thoughts and address the situation at hand. The longer something was put off, after all, the more time it would have to build. Whether that grow into a semblance of stronger or weaker emotions hadn't mattered. It would grow all the same. Videl could only hope that neither of their emotions grew to worse proportions than they already were.

"I'll take what you say at it's face value.. It's not like I was expecting too much more out of this conversation anyways." His words had led to a clear indicator in the fact that he was disappointed but the truth behind it all was that he really did foresee things playing out like this. While he might have been disappointed in the fact that their conversation wasn't likely to get anywhere, he couldn't say that he hadn't been prepared for it. Still though.. Her choice of outfit, paired with their current location and her lack of a desire to converse, had left the man feeling a bit confused.

"Honestly, now that I think about it, it might be better for me to withhold these emotions for the future anyways. From the way that it comes across, these feelings of mine.. They seem as though they bother you. Or that you don't quite care for them. Rather than run the risk of making you more uncomfortable, I could try and keep them to myself." Allowing for his head to push slightly further upon her shoulder, he would continue. "I just hope that I'm not making you as uncomfortable as it seems.. If my feelings ever bother you in any way, in all sincerity, I request that you let me know. To bother you in such a way.. That in and of itself is a crime that I wish to not partake in. Really can't afford to lose my closest friend.."

Regardless of whatever he was saying in this moment, it would be far more difficult to seal away his affections than he might think. Given his skewed perspective of the vampiress, and his overall lack of affections throughout his life, his emotions had held a very complicated note to them. Something that he hadn't been able to understand about himself as of yet. If it meant ensuring that Sylvari was okay though? He was willing to attempt to place these feelings elsewhere. Much like he said, he wasn't willing to run the risk of losing the closest person to him. If his love had to transform into something else than it would. Or at least he would attempt to transform it into another form of love. Familial if needed.

Sylvari sighed, detecting her friend's obvious disappointment lacing his tone and plastered all over his face. I'm really not good at this. Truthfully, Videl's feelings did bother her, but not because of their nature or even necessarily that she didn't reciprocate them. She was just well and fully confused as to why he was able to formulate such depth of feeling for her in the first place. Videl was a good, earnest sort. Of course, he made mistakes, but he had a true heart and desire to be kind and help others. In fact, most of his failings came as a result of his devotion for her.

Thus presented the first problem: Sylvari worried about how his feelings for her clouded his judgment. Am I a thing so fragile, so needing of protection that he must leap to my defense, to assault, at the first impugnment of my honor? He's never been so rattled, and, by all accounts, this shifter wasn't even physically dangerous. I've seen him combat far more fearsome beasts without a trace of hesitation. I worry these feelings will get him killed.

The second issue was one born of a simple disagreement about the nature of things: in her mind, Sylvari was not worthy of love. Hells, even her own family could see the plain truth of that as she crouched feasting over the vitae of her slain friend those years ago. She was a monster, plain and simple. No matter what level of mastery she achieved over her curse, she was a death's grasp away from trying to eat the nearest person, and, with Videl's insistence on proximity and ample magical talent, he was a prime target. It was a misguided sort of love that she wanted to express for him: to banish him from her presence, to both her and Videl's chagrin, to prevent the possibility of his untimely death.

She had tried, and obviously failed, in the past to express these sentiments to Videl in the past, but maybe here and now, clothed in the spirit of openness as they were, he would give weight to her concerns.

"I just- I just wish I understood your feelings. I don't understand why a good, decent man like you was cursed with love for a monster. It seems a cruel joke of the gods to draw you willingly towards that which will kill you."

A tinge of concern would dot Videl's eyes as he listened to Sylvari's words. So much so that even his eyebrows would contort to show their worry for her. No matter how much she had attempted to explain it, or how much he had thrown himself into attempting to accept it, Videl simply couldn't understand why it was that she thought these things. To insist on the fact that she was a monster.. It bothered him more than he had cared to admit.

"..I really hate when you say that, you know.." As he had spoken to her, the volume of his words would drop a level, so soft that only she could hear him, and that was solely due to their proximity. "Even with this curse that has befallen you, you're no monster Sylvari. While there are urges that gnaw at you, you spend the majority of your time staving them off and working towards bettering this world. Even when the chance is presented to you, you choose not to act on it. I mean, honestly, just take our little encounter on the ship for example. If you truly wanted, you could have tore into my neck and drained me dry. But you didn't. Because you're not this monster that you so stringently believe yourself to be."

A soft sigh would escape from his lips at this point, his head rising from the vampiress' shoulder so that he could look her in the eye, face to face. "If you seek to understand these feelings of mine then listen closely. In my eyes, you aren't a burden to anyone other than yourself. You spend all of your time working towards bettering the world but refuse to focus on the internalized troubles that you yourself have. Rather than whatever happened in your past, you seem to be pushing away from it and distracting yourself with the injustices of the world. But what about your injustices? What about the evil things that happened to you? You don't seem to care very much for yourself Sylvari. I can see that much. And that's partially why I try so hard to get through to you. Because if you won't love yourself than damnit, I'll love you enough for the both of us."

His words had been spoken in an even tone at this point, rising just loud enough for her to hear him as he had pulled away. There was no real sense of emotion behind any of his words. No remorse. No guilt. No pity. This was his pure and unfiltered truth. "When it comes down to it, I'm not sure if the gods are involved. But if they are? Well than I thank them. What you see as a curse, I see as a blessing. Our initial encounter was the thing that set me down the path that I am on now. If it wasn't for the affection that you have shown me, there is no telling what kind of person I would have become by now. You could almost say that I was like a blank slate.. My trauma might serve as the canvas of who I am but it is you, my beloved confidant, that has painted me to be who I am. Anything good that has come out of me thus far has been thanks to you. When I was lost, you were there. When I was alone, you found me. And all I want to do is to return the favor. To show you the love that you have shown me. My love might be more powerful than your own but it is there nonetheless."

A brief spout of emotion would well up within the mans eyes at this point, his heart beating just a tad bit quicker, and his glacial mana spreading evenly without him yet seemingly wanting to escape. "I love you for every aspect of who you are. The timid woman whose cheeks grow red at my teasing actions. The brave warrior that stands against any and every foe without worry. The frightened girl that cares too deeply for her friend at times and not enough at others. And the vampiress' that seeks mana-filled blood whenever she's on the verge of losing herself. And while I might not quite know the girl that was rejected by her people.. I love that aspect of you as well. Because no matter what happens, the good or bad, each and every part of these are who you are. I'm willing to learn every other facet of yourself as well, so long as you are willing to show them to me. Even if we had to return to your homeland to seek that part of yourself out. Because to me, Sylvari.. You are worth it. I accept you for who you are and who you might become. I accept you despite all of the things that might happen to me if I stick around you. And I love you for every moment that we've spent together."

Sylvari was quiet as the grave through Videl's whole speech, trying desperately, for his sake, to take the words as they were and not the portents of destruction that her mind identified them as. Why did he love her so wholly, so unconditionally? He loved her for her failings. He loved her for her triumphs. He loved her more than the one group of people she was supposed to count on for such things.



Maybe that's it. Maybe, if I try my hardest, if I explain things as clear as they were to my people, Videl will finally realize I'm trying to build out of a hole years in the making.



Without tact or proper segue, Sylvari began speaking in a quiet voice. "Have I ever told you what happened with my exile? Why my People regard me as nothing and turned me out with a promise to kill me if I ever returned?" Without waiting for an answer, the vampiress began, in faltering voice, for fear of losing her nerve to the phantasms of her mind that swirled threateningly, even now.



"It was about five years ago. My people have a rite of passage that proves the worth of an emerging acolyte to be elevated to the status of justiciar. It's a 30-day long pilgrimage throughout the lands of my birth, with various trials interspersed through with service to the commoners. I did the vigil, I bested the trials, I was a beacon of hope to the people of the Isle, as was my noble purpose, but on the final day, as I returned to my tribe, I was cursed.

"A foul ritual, meant to sacrifice a boy to greater power orchestrated by cultists of a loathsome vampire, was being conducted in abandoned ruins along my path. By a stroke of fate, I was directed to intervene. I killed the cultists, I chased off the vampire, and I save the child, and then my great sin of hubris, interacting with things far above my ken rent me with the results of the half-finished ceremony.

"We are taught to bring such cursed relics to our learned sages, or bind the location and report if needed, but I was flush with victory and righteous fury. I forsook the wisdom of my ancestors and took the destruction of the tainted object into my own foolish hands. It was by my folly I was cursed, and I bear the punishment for my stupidity to this day.

"Nevertheless, I still thought myself wise and capable beyond my years. I thought I was righteous enough to stave off the dark thirst I was subjected to perpetually. I was wrong, of course. I grew weak, inept in my duty and tormented by temptation, yet still I was too proud to even seek help for my sin. My father extended unwarranted grace and assigned me partners to help complete my missions, an unprecedented maneuver and an untenable besmirchment of my honor. But what could I do? I was too weak to do anything, and too stupidly stubborn to try and fix the root of the problem.

"My friend Banbraith had the unfortunate duty of accompanying me that fateful day," Sylvari paused, cringing as the ghost of her dead friend stared at her accusingly, just beyond Videl's shoulder, forcing her to look away lest she lose her nerve. "There was a town overrun with undead. We were sent to quell the eruption of evil. There were too many for one: this mission truly required more than one justiciar, and ones at full strength, not the shadow of imitation that I was playing it. We were overwhelmed, and while he fought honorably to protect me, I couldn't do the same for him, and he was injured.

"It was then that a hellish vigor came over me. It was then I saw my opportunity and devoured him. It was thus how my family found me, sucking the marrow from my comrade's bones." Sylvari turned to face Videl and Banbraith, tears streaming from beneath her veil as she forced herself to look at them. "You want to know why I call myself a monster? Why I push myself to hellish extremes with no regard for my sanity or well-being? In that moment, no dark influence outside of myself forced me to kill him and take from him. It was my own twisted desire to save face, to reclaim my honor. What was one insignificant life between me and my future? I willingly devoured him so that I could return to strength because I was so tired of being pitiful. Only a monster reasons as thus!"

Sylvari's voice had been steadily raising in volume as she spoke, culminating into her final exclamation that echoed through the walls of the now-silent tavern. People edged away from the pair, but Sylvari remained stubbornly unmoving, tears still streaming down her face as she was held in place by intense self-loathing.

Finally gaining an introspective look into Sylvari's past, Videl had opted to remain quiet for the time being. He would remain seated within his chair, his gaze focused on the veil that she had worn, looking towards her eyes, and he would ultimately remain silent. Through this, he had come to learn of this rite of passage of hers and how she had been met with this curse of vampirism. How she had saved a young boy and chased off their vampiric master. And worst of all, how she had not just lost this friend of hers but devoured him. Unlike when she told Videl that she would stop him at all costs if he ever did anything unsavory, she had slaked her thirst with the lifeblood of her previous companion simply to save face. Or so she claimed.

At first, towards the beginning of the story, Videl had believed that she had judged herself too harshly. He had believed that her previous arrogance was something that was warranted in most cases and he had even been proud of her, hearing that she had prevented this ritual from happening. Then he grew concerned. Not because of the fact that Sylvari had been growing more emotional but because of something that she had pointed out. She had chased away this vampire. Meaning that they were likely still out there. And whatever curse they inflicted upon Sylvari was likely able to be spread to many others even now. Or so he had believed as he listened to these words of hers.

Once she spoke of Banbraith, however, his heart would reach another emotion that he hadn't quite understood. One that left him simultaneously conflicted and understanding. While he now had a better understanding of why she had held such horrid beliefs about herself, and why she might have been chased away from her home, he simply couldn't accept that there wasn't a single person that stood by her side throughout all of this. There was no mention of others working with her to overcome this curse of hers. No mention of anything that happened after they found her in such a state. And while it was possible that she simply didn't have the heart or opportunity to divulge such information as of yet, the whole situation had left the T'saya rather bothered. It was different than the situation with his family. Where Videl willingly left home due to the complete disregard that his people had for him, Sylvari had been actively chased out of her home. For a curse that they didn't even bother to assist her in getting rid of. The whole thing left a bad taste in his mouth.

For a few moments, as a silence washed over the interior of the tavern, Videl would remain ever silent as well. This was a lot to take in and as such, it had taken him a moment to fully acknowledge everything that she had said. Once he had gotten his bears however, Videl would unquestioningly rise from his seat and pull his beloved companion into his embrace. There weren't many words that would aid her hear. Nothing that came to mind that would pull her out of her despair. And deep down, Videl ultimately knew that he couldn't exactly erase the troubles that she so clearly still thinks on. Even with all of that said though, it wasn't as though he wasn't going to try.

"Hey.. I'm sorry for having you bring all that up.. I really, really am.. but I feel as though I have something to say on the matter." His hold over her would physically grow stronger, Videl taking the time to fully embrace her with all that he had. "Even knowing this, my beloved, I still can't believe you to be a monster.. Even acknowledging the role that you played in your friends demise, and how your arrogance had led to everything that might have transpired, there is something that you aren't taking into consideration. You didn't start all of this. Those cultists and that damnable vampire that they worshipped.. They're the ones to blame. While you might have fallen due to this, and taken a life in order to slake your thirst, it wasn't as though it was for reasons that were in your control. You were overrun. Things turned dire in ways that you couldn't have imagined. He was injured. And at the end of the day..? The curse got the better of you. I cannot fault you for this."

A soft irritation had risen within the man at this point as his mind turned back to her peoples once again. How they didn't work to help her, once they realized what she had done. She goes out of her way to grant everyone a second chance and yet these people had chased her off.. While Videl now held a deeper understanding of Sylvari as a whole, he had now found himself with a great distaste for those that had cast her away.

"There are a great many things in our lives that we believe to be within our control.. that quite simply aren't. Jealousy. Rage. Pity. Curses. And the desire to have ones honor returned. All of these hold a singular thing in common and that is simply the fact that they can all come about from outside sources. This is why emotions are so complicated for me to understand.. No matter how much we hurt, or how hard we work, these are the things that are out of our control. And so, as I have said, I cannot fault you for any of this. And while I understand why you might want to hold yourself accountable, Sylvari.. I don't believe that you're going about it in the right way. You're pushing yourself too hard. Too far. And that worries me.. because it doesn't really matter what you do. Throwing yourself to the wolves and wallowing in self pity and regret won't make up for the things that have happened. All it will do is tear you down.. and I don't want that for you."

Shaking his head from side to side, Videl would take a moment to pull back from this hug, albeit only by  a few inches. His right hand would rise before brushing away her tears with his thumb. Even as they continued to cascade over her cheeks, he would attempt to soothe her in this way. "There's nothing that we can do to change the past.. and I won't ask that you forgive yourself, if you don't believe yourself capable of doing so.. but for me, please, at least try and see that you aren't a monster. You are simply someone that fell prey to circumstances that were out of your control.. You've been working to better yourself for years and have finally met someone that can and will love you despite all of this. Someone that will stand by your side to try and help you understand that you don't deserve this.. I love you Sylvari and I just want you to see at least this much. You're not a monster. You're just a person." More or less finished with what he had to say, Videl would slightly move her veil out of the way before placing a soft and supple kiss upon her cheek. He would have aimed for her forehead, believing this to be more soothing, but he was simply too short for such an act. As such, this was the best that he could offer.

Sylvari could only shake her head sadly as Videl held her. "No, Videl. You misunderstand. I can see the tragedy of my curse. I can acknowledge the fact that I didn't ask for these urges, that I don't 'deserve' them. I can even understand, at least form an outside perspective, how my family's reaction was overblown and lacking in forgiveness. These things are not why I call myself a monster. They are symptoms of a root cause.



"I have experienced much in my travels. I have met minotaurs and reptile-kin and far stranger beasts that have acted with civility and honor, despite the implication the less knowledgeable might draw from their appearance. I have also witnessed the scum of the earth: flesh traders and murderers and lifelong criminals without the barest shred of remorse." Sylvari paused, attempting to tie together the frayed strands of her thought to a coherent denouement.



"Despite this, I am readily willing to admit I am woefully naive to the ways of the world. If my journey has taught me anything, it is the vast expanse of undiscovered knowledge between myself and true world weariness. Monsters are the exception. Monsters are the reason I fight, the reason I continue to need to exist. I hunt the monsters and keep the common folk safe from that which prowls in the night. I kill them, I cull them, I know them, because I am them. Monstrosity proceeds from the heart, and for whatever other tragedies have impacted me, I cannot absolve myself of the responsibility of killing a friend for selfish reasons. Only a monster would do this."

With her further explanation, Videl had come to understand a bit more about what it was that she was hoping to convey. This time around, things made a bit more sense to him. Even with that being the case though, there were still a couple things that had bothered him. The fact that she believed herself to be a monster and yet claimed that only a monster would absolve themselves of the crime of having killed their friend for selfish reasons. And the fact that she only believes she continues to exist to cull monsters. Monsters such as herself.

By that logic, her journey would only end when someone came to cull the monster that was herself. This was something that didn't settle well with the T'saya. Something that he refused to allow to happen. "..let me ask you this then.. In the event that a cure for your vampirism was found.. would you take it? Or would you shove it off, in hopes of maintaining this sense of understanding these monsters? And on top of that.. Is that how you intend to go out? Through having someone come to slay you? Because, I'm telling you now, I won't allow for that to happen."

By this point, Videl could feel a wave of emotional exhaustion washing over him. Despite his long winded speeches, given everything that she has gone through in her past, it was going to take a hell of a lot of work to see change within her. He knew that it was likely going to be a long and arduous journey but at this rate, he wasn't sure if he'd live long enough to see the end of it. If he had truly hoped to do so.. He was going to need to find a way to extend his own lifespan.

"It's clear to me that I cannot change your mind in this regard.. I still remain firm in my request from earlier though. Whether it be decades down the line or longer, please try and find a way to see yourself in any other light. There isn't much that I long for in this world, considering everything, but the one thing that I want is for you to see yourself somewhat akin to how I see you. If there was only an easier way to show you.."

A confused expression spread over Sylvari's face at Videl's question. She thought it absurd. "Of course I would try to cure my condition, if such a remedy existed. As I've told you, my heart is the most monstrous part of me, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't look to resolve lesser evils where they lie. My mission would not cease with the curse's ending, however. In that, you have the right of it. It is a call unto death. I will fight until I meet my end at the hands of an evil I cannot quell. I pray that by that time my sacrifice will be enough to tip the scales back towards justice for my existence, at least a little."

Sylvari gave Videl a sad smile and tousled his hair as he continued speaking. "I can't promise that I will change my views, darling. While sweet and well-meaning, I simply think you have the wrong of it. Even if the truth is between our two extremes of what we see, that means I am still partially culpable, and thus guilty. My oath doesn't leave much room for grey areas. This is why I have not taken your promise to stay by me. It would be cruel to subject you to a future chained to a woman bound to death. I only wish happiness for you, V, and I fear you'll never find it in my company."