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Post by Lady Kamille Verlithax on Mar 13, 2023 5:37:22 GMT -5
The sight of the two ravens dancing in the skies, like a couple waltzing through the wind, was an ordinary one in a place as big as Sol City. The critters warranted no second look from anyone down there, fluttering wings circling the region of the Gold Port as their shinning beetle eyes searched for something. Or someone. They were possibly choosing one of the crabs down there to make into their romantic dinner of two. So many options... So many f*cking crabs! What the f*ck is going on here?!!?At first, she had doubted the stories were true. Maybe someone wanted to pull a prank on her? Not that it made any sense, but neither did a massive invasion of crabs... What was she supposed to do?! Kamille finally spotted the place she's been searching, a small alchemy shop by the Gold Port. Much like her own business, Mr. Merwyn's business prospered not only on account of his the quality of his potions, but on other jobs on the side he would offer. Should she have stayed at Sol City, they would certainly be competitors - and Kamille could appreciate that. Instead, since her base was at Moonglade, they became partners of sorts, exchanging a few words and services from time to time. But unlike Kamille, Mr. Merwyn invested more heavily on the comercial aspect of it, rubbing two solars together to create a third, it would sometimes look. Now, with several business all around the Gold Port, his sales were ruined by this curious wave of crabs that seemingly came out of nowhere! She could understand his frustration... His office window was open, on the second store of his main business. It was early morning, and the time for some paperwork duties, when the two ravens jumped to his window, side by side. Mr. Merwyn was ready to shoo them, getting up from his desk, when one of the ravens spoke up, quite characteristically:
"CAWW! Hello! I am Mischief!"
The man stopped imediately mid-gesture to scare them off, an expression of recognition quickly taking his features.
"Ah! Mischief! That must mean your Master is near, right? It was about time! Wretched woman... Always makes me wait! She thinks she's finally gonna get that recipe she wanted so much if she does this for me, but I'm pretty sure she is late already... Go fetch your Master and her blessed tits, you little devil! And who is this one? Your girlfriend?"
The raven accompanying Mischief jumped forward, but instead of landing on the ground as a small critter, the feathers ruffled around her to shape her trademark black cape made of black feathers, engulfing the sillhouette of a half-elf woman with sparkling blue eyes. If for a moment Mr. Merwyn jumped back and almost fell off of his chair, the next second he was raising a long finger in her face. Just like the Witch herself would, he didn't even have the decency to blush before her amused smirk.
"I guess you could say such thing, yes..."
"What kind of devilry, Kamille! You wanna kill a man from a heart attack?! At least give me the sight of your tits before that!"
"Why did you say I'm late? I still see a lot of crabs down there..."
The man scoffed, sitting back on his chair while straightening his hair.
"I've put up posters to take care of this problem... There may be already someone out there to take care of it. You might need to hurry up if you want some of my gold." " I'm not greedy. Not for gold. At least point me to the place where it all started, where the crabs came first, will ya?" And with that information in mind, the two ravens that came into Mr. Merwyn's office flew out again, set out to find a way to fix the situation. Crabs.... the f.....
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Post by Issala 'Izzy' Arodre on Mar 15, 2023 0:19:41 GMT -5
The onset of crustaceans in Sol City was a mystery, and a delightful one at that. Izzy was, if nothing else, a true inquisitive, down to her very core; she was also very much a lover of all things odd and chaotic, and nothing made less sense than a horde of crabs leaving the safety of the water for the land.
Which. Was odd. Most crabs were either terrestrial or sea-faring, as far as she knew. So, in that vein-- a tonne of sea-based crabs suddenly appearing on shore was certainly cause for alarm. It was probably some sort of ecological disaster. What had caused the sea crabs to exchange gills for more conventional lungs?
Izzy didn't know, but assumed they would be delicious either way.
"No tiiime to get down, 'cuz I'm mooovin' up," Izzy sings to herself-- poorly-- as she picks through the streets of snipping crabs, her tail carefully lifted out of reach of their claws (a lesson she had only needed to learn twice). She corners the skittering creatures, scooping one up with the scabbard of her rapier and depositing it with a dull thud into her wooden bucket. She has been at this for a couple of hours now, but there is no end in sight to the crabs. It's an odd job to be called in on, but, well, she was in the area, and could use the extra coin. And a free dinner. Crab was delicious.
As yet, no one has come to join her, but she did spot a pair of wheeling ravens over head not twenty minutes prior. They were gone now; maybe found a nice juicy crab to enjoy between the two of them? She hoped so. If someone was going to enjoy the sea's bounty, let it be the ravens.
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Post by Lady Kamille Verlithax on Mar 23, 2023 4:34:40 GMT -5
Kamille wasn't sure what exactly to do about the crabs. There were so many... It felt like an ungrateful job, one that would have no actual way of making it easier than just picking up one by one and throwing them back... Maybe... She could do good to someone with that? Deliver them to an orphanage to help them with food? Or maybe she could put a handful of them on Lady's Farlah's bathtub for that rude comment she issued on her tea party a couple of years ago... That would be funny. She wouldn't even be able to track it down to Kamille, since she was supposed to be back at Moonglade. But first, she would need to find a way to pick up the crabs, one by one...
This would be a boring task... But at least she was not alone.
As they flew overhead, Kamille's head spinning trying to think of what to do, Mischief already knew what he would do - nothing good, as usual. Kamille had been thinking of how going about this without scaring or bothering the woman down there, but her own familiar had other plans: Mischief simply landed on one of Izzy's horns.
"CAWWW! Hello! I am Mischief!"
If she could, she would facepalm. Mischief was always one to lead her into trouble. Kamille wasn't sure what to think of the woman, she was minding her own business but looked... kinda scary.
Yeah... Maybe it was worth trying to poke her a bit.
Just a moment after the first raven landed on her head, another one came in and landed on Izzy's shoulder.
"Hey! Whatcha doing? Huh... I mean... CAWW!"
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Post by Issala 'Izzy' Arodre on Mar 25, 2023 12:17:07 GMT -5
There was a flap of wings and a gentle alighting on her horns that made Izzy lift her eyes skyward. Her past experience with Fish (though they couldn't fly) meant that she did not register an alarm when some sort of bird had decided to make her it's perch. Besides, this was a blessing! An honour! She grins at the part of the raven she can see-- and it talks, too!
"Well hello, Mischief! I'm Izzy. Someone has you well named, I think mm?" she reaches up to offer a smaller crab to the raven as a snack. Most talking birds usually belonged to someone in some capacity, in her experience, though she had no way of knowing who. Or, this was someone transformed as a bird. Either way, the point stood.
--And just then, another bird alights on her shoulder this time. Izzy blinks, turning her head to look at this raven too. Well. That was unexpected. Her sharp grin splits across her face as she looks at the second companion to grace her shoulders. It was officially the best day ever.
"You mean, 'caww', huh?" she snickers, but doesn't question further, "And hello to YOU as well new friend! I'm Izzy, I'm trying to pick up these here crabs to get 'em off the streets?" she pokes another crab with her scabbard. When it snips at the leather sheath, Izzy scoops it up off the ground and shakes the crustacean off into the wooden bucket. "Kinda weird that sea crabs that have gills suddenly started showing up on land, so some folks want a look, or just for me to get 'em out of sight so they don't have to think about the problem. What about yourself? Whatcha dooooin'?"
Having become an ineffective scarecrow over the last couple of minutes doesn't seem to bother the tall fellblood much. She continues bobbing along, picking up crabs while she converses with the birds. A very normal, day-to-day occurence.
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Post by Lady Kamille Verlithax on Apr 7, 2023 4:52:12 GMT -5
Mischief eagerly accepts the crab Izzy offer him, only to be imediatelly pinched by his tiny claw. In a tornado of feathers, Mischief croaked and jumped from Izzy's head and bounced off the ground, where the crab finally let go of him. He cawed loudly and angrily at the tiny crab, puffing up his chest, as another, bigger crab slowly made his way to pinch his feathery tail.
Tair looked around, thoughtfully. There was a lot of crabs there... Maybe they could speed up the process? How? She couldn't think of any spell that could help her in that situation... And then, there was the issue as to where to place the crabs.
".......Why are they here? Did someone put them here? Are they coming because there is something happening in their home?"
The tall lady was so non-chalant about her being a raven that for a moment she realized she was still on that shape. But to cast spells, she would need to turn back. Well, she hoped that if the lady was so chill about talking to a raven, maybe she would also be about her turning into a woman?
The remaining raven softly flew a few feet away from Izzy, but when they hit the ground, it was not a raven anymore. Still covered in black feather due to her feathery cloak, the half elf that rose on the spot where the raven once stood was... just what could be expected. Kamille really did embrace the witch part of her persona.
"I'm sorry to bother, where are my manners! My name is Kamille. Yours is Izzy, right? Maybe we could help each other on this one, right? My friend asked me to get rid of the crabs, but now that I think of it....... I have no clue of what to do with them! I mean..... I do know some stuck up ladies that would hate to have their beautiful livin rooms and gardens swarmed with crabs but..... I would never do that....."
Yes, yes she would.
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Post by Issala 'Izzy' Arodre on Apr 9, 2023 15:23:34 GMT -5
Izzy watches the fierce tussle on the ground between the crab and Mischief, trying not to snicker at the poor raven and his indignation about being assailed by crabs.
In the meantime, she busies herself with answering questions from the remaining raven on her shoulder. "Dunno. Probably not. Probably that one yeah," she lifts her shoulder in a faint shrug as she scoops up two crabs who were fighting and drops them in the bucket. "Lotta earthquakes lately. Something down there seems likely to have driven them up above the coast, but it also means something changed them in a fundamental way. These crabs should be breathing water, not air."
She watches as the raven takes off, but remains near. They go to touch down on the ground and... "......ah," she blinks at the comely elven woman who had transformed from the raven-- that seemed about right for a talking bird in Izzy's experience (though the only other talking bird she knew of was Fish), and bows properly, grinning. "Pleasure to meet you, Kamille. I am indeed!" Her brows lift at the offer of mutual aid.
The suggestion of what to do with the crabs brings a slooow smile to Izzy's face, one full of jagged teeth and mirth. "Well golly gosh that would be a terrible shame if that were to happen, huh? Of course, you would never, upstanding lady such as yourself! Perish the thought." The fellblood looks around her, tapping her chin as the wheels turn behind her eyes. "Hypothetically, just how many crabs would be a disproportionately upsetting amount for your stuck up friends to have to deal with?"
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Post by Lady Kamille Verlithax on Apr 20, 2023 4:49:26 GMT -5
.............This was a tall lady. She didn't have this perspective while being a raven, but now that she rose to her full height - and felt like a small child near Izzy - she truly understood how big she was. But her toothy grin quickly made her understand she had come to the right person for this. Kamille was actually surprised that Izzy was agreeing to this maddness so quickly. A mischievous, toothy grin full of bad intentions. ...Good. They would get along just fine. Kamille took a look around, trying to look dramatic while thinking and watching the massive wave of crabs swarming around them. Mischief was still locked in a deadly fight with a smaller crab, cawing angrily at it while the crab victoriously held a tuft of black feathers in one pincer. " Oh! Would you look at that! I think this would be the perfect amount! Would you happen to have any more buckets? I do think we'll need to understand what is going on that is making these crabs behave so oddly... But what is it that they say? Put off the fire first? This looks like a priority... I probably should get some help..." The Witch searched her satchel for a moment, taking off what looked like a small flask with black powder inside... But the powder had several eyes and twirled and twisted on its own accord. When she opened it and turned it upside down, a wave of soot came down pouring on the floor and... little balls of soot bounced back from the floor, sprouting out little hands and feet and cute little eyes [1]. They imediatelly started to run around desperately. " Calm down, children... How about you help us get this crabs on the bucket here, huh?" The little balls of soot never stopped running around, but did seem to understand what was wanted of them, as they started to try and drag the crabs to the bucket as best as they could. The crabs were definitely not happy, but were much slower than the happy, crazed sootlings just running amock with intention and more than a fair bit of mischief.
[1]Bottle of sootlings
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Post by Issala 'Izzy' Arodre on Apr 30, 2023 13:03:02 GMT -5
"Yeah, I got a handful right here," she moves over to the wagon she has been dumping crabs into and holds up a stack of wooden buckets, all containing a handle, and sets them on the ground. Her brows lift again at Kamille's mention of 'help'. What, like more ravens? Mischief appeared to have their talons full with the one they were trying to murder, how much more help would a whole flock be?
But to Izzy's surprise, it isn't a murder of crows, or an unkindness of ravens, but a little vial of something Izzy had seen before, in the hands of another. She grins wide as soot pours out of the vial, becoming little hopping, scampering orbs with legs. Izzy titters in absolute glee, delighted by the little sootlings as they run to and fro, seizing them like ants carrying away a grasshopper carcass to chuck them into buckets.
"Oh, yeah, that'll do nicely," Izzy croons, getting to work herself, cackling with glee as the little sootlings race back and forth across the ground, hauling crabs above their heads or behind them. It was probably very alarming for the crabs. But with the sootlings and Kamille's help, the crabs, at least around here, were cleaned up in no time.
Izzy wipes her sleeve across her forehead and looks to Kamille, the ever-present grin still flashing down at the elven woman. "Your marching orders, m'lady?"
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Post by Lady Kamille Verlithax on May 16, 2023 10:33:46 GMT -5
The Witch had come into that situation boldly prepared to use her most effective plan of all times: Improvisation.
No, really. While Kamille had always wanted to carefully prepare and play out scenarios in her head, none of her countermeasures ever got to the height of a good improvisation on site, in the heat of the moment, with a good pinch of pressure and limited time. So, she stopped making plans. It was turning out okay so far! She stepped into that without knowing how to collect the crabs and what to do with them afterwards... And now she got all of them neatly packed in several buckets, with the help of this very helpful lady that........ had perhaps too little reservations when it came to dumping a swarm of angry crabs on someone else's yard.
"I'm glad to have your help here, Ms. Izzy! I wouldn’t know what to do with all of these crabs...."
Despite not being one suited for the physical labor, the Witch didn’t stand still, using her Telekinesis spell to make the crabs float and fall on the buckets, one by one. Soon, a task that seemed dreadfully boring at first became a game to see how many crabs she could throw into the bucket until they were all full.
Then it came the time when they were faced with another problem: how, by Lunala's blessed tits, would they manage to arrive at this woman’s backyard without drawing attention to themselves? Carrying buckets of crabs? Izzy couldn't exactly go unnoticed in the middle of a crowd, but perhaps....
Her thoughtful expression dissolved in a smile of glee. The Witch once again perused her pouch, this time taking out of it two chess pieces. Small, unsuspecting.
"Okay, how about this: I'll call in my two friends to help carry the buckets, and then I'll turn back into a raven to scout ahead and see if the path is clear... How about that? The house isn’t far from here, maybe ten minutes by foot."
It was risky, it was foolish, but above it all, it was exciting. It’s been a long time since she last had the opportunity to mess with Sol City nobility, and this made her feel like the mischievous child she had always been once again. Not only that, but she also happened upon another mischievous soul just like her... if not even more. The tall, lizard lady would feel intimidating for most sane people, but the Witch didn’t seem to bat an eye once she got used to her size. The monstrous of appearance or size rarely ever hit her the same as others, as more often than not she had found warm cores to spiky exteriors.
Directing a few words of power to her two pieces of chess, she tossed them ahead as she completed the spell: with a groundshaking sound, the pieces hit the floor with the weight of six foot tall stone gargoyles. It was no wonder she was used to big people.
"Miss Fortune, Sir Prize... Will you help us carry these buckets? Grab as many as you can, and try not to make too much noise. I'll fly ahead and tell you if the streets are clean."
The gargoyles...... didn’t look particularly smart, but seemed to understand the basic command. And as it would become evident, Kamille seemed to have a good understanding of the layout of Sol City, for as she turned back into a raven and guided them to the noble lady's house, she chose to make them walk through the sleeziest, most dubious alleways - that were also the ones they could actually walk with several buckets of crabs without being surprised by a guard.
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Post by Issala 'Izzy' Arodre on May 22, 2023 18:01:13 GMT -5
"I think if nothin' else comes to mind, eatin' 'em is just as good as solution as any!" Izzy reasons. "Little bit of garlic and butter? Mwah." She kisses the pinched collection of her finger-tips, before flaring them away from herself, in a traditional gesture of a chef.
Izzy was no slouch and could certainly carry the buckets --most of them-- to whoever's yard this was and dump it there unceremoniously. Or perhaps slice a hole in her back pocket and let the crabs trail out and onto the ground? No, they were pinchy. Couldn't exactly do that with like seventeen buckets anyway.
Fortunately, Izzy doesn't have to think too much about it, thanks to Kamille's quick thinking. She looks on as the elven woman awakens a couple of chess pieces that become... VERY tall gargoyles (not taller than her though, thankfully. Phew.) to help with the load. Izzy hauls a couple of buckets up herself, and gives Kamille the most brilliant smile she can manage. "I'll walk with my new friends here then, shall I? Lead on, fair raven-lady!"
With Kamille's guidance, going down alleys to avoid being spotted or the guard is, all told, relatively easy. Despite Izzy's, well. Everything. She moves as quietly and carefully as the best of them, moving fluidly between standard alley jumk and moving from cover to cover with ease.
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Post by Lady Kamille Verlithax on Jun 9, 2023 10:06:27 GMT -5
The procession was an odd, deadly one: Izzy took the lead, carrying several buckets bubbling with angry crabs, followed by two idiots of gargoyles, also carrying crabs, much less discrete than Izzy. It was a quick walk, and in no time Izzy would notice they seemed to enter a better, more noble neighborhood in the city. The houses were larger, and fewer in between, large and fancy yards nicely trimmed and tended for, certainly belonging to important and rich people. Rich, snobby and insuferable Sol City socialites.
Kamille flew overhead as she guided them, but at a certain point she returned to the group, making them halt and landing on Izzy's head.
"So... the wall ahead is the way into the lady's backyard, but there is a guard there. Just one. I'll distract him, and then you can dump the crabs in, okay? We'll need a drink after this. On me."
The raven-lady sounded excited. Once again she flew towards the lady's house, past the wall that made the division between the property. It was a tall wall for a thief, but Izzy would find no trouble peeking from it in all her full, glorious height. She would have no trouble witnessing what happened next.
There was, indeed, only one guard, standing near a small gazebo and idly fidgeting with the hilt of his sword. Despite wearing armor, he wore no helmet, looking like a personal house guard, not a city guard. Certainly it was a job that didn’t usually require much of him, as quiet as the garden looked....
And what a garden! Neatly trimmed bushes and roses and colorful flowers, artistically arranged... almost begging to be destroyed by a swarm of angry crabs....
Kamille landed on the roof of the gazebo, and the guard didn’t even glance up, which was good. In the blink of an eye, Kamille shifted, becoming a blurr of blackness so intense for a moment it was hard to tell what her shape was. Until she became... a cat. A black, mischievous cat, with a flickering tail raising up in the air, as she walked up to the border of the roof to calculate her landing...
Cat-Kamille focused, looking down to the guard who was, sadly for him, not wearing a helmet. After a minute or two of butt wiggling, careful calculations, she jumped...
...straight on the man's head. If his soul wasn’t attached to his body, it would have had permission to leave right now.
"MEAAAAAAAOOWWWWWWWW!!!! HHIIIIIIISSSSSSSS!"
"WHAT THE FU- AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"
Cat-Kamille scratched the man's face before he managed to throw her away, her claws ripping the front of the nice tunic he wore beneath the chainmail. She landed on the ground and quickly arched her back, all her black fur raised up in defiance, the perfect depiction of the angry mischievous critters that would sometimes be confused by eldritch horrors.
"WHY- I'M GONN- WHERE... I'M GONNA MAKE GLOVES OUT OF YOUR SKIN, YOU BASTARD! COME HERE!"
Drawing his sword, the man ran towards the cat.... who promptly fled. His face and neck was marred with a few scratches, some maybe a bit deep enough to leave scars. He was certainly angry enough to leave his post, as Kamille led him out of the garden, leaving Izzy to the job of bringing in the crabs.
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Post by Issala 'Izzy' Arodre on Jun 18, 2023 16:53:54 GMT -5
The closer they get on their approach into the more bougeosie areas of the city, the wider Izzy's grin gets. She is decidedly out of place here; worn leathers, a cigar clenched between too-sharp teeth. Carrying buckets of crustaceans that definitely didn't belong there. Every bit of this plan thrilled the side of Izzy that was forever a 'little shit', where there were rich people involved, Izzy was always more than willing to cause a little chaos. Put them in their place. Let them think twice before they felt safe in their fortress like mansions again.
Izzy's gaze lifts as the Kamille-raven lands atop her crown, grinning. And with a promise of drinks, no less! "Ma'am, you had me at 'crabs'. Aye, aye! Go do your thing, I'll wait right here."
It does help, of course, that her prodigious height gives her a full view of what comes next. Kamille transforming into a cat upon the roof of the gazebo. Eyes widening as Katmille lines up for a pounce on the poor, unsupecting guard's exposed head.
The area immediately erupts in shouts of pain and chaos, the caterwauling Katmille giving her best performance as a frenzied feline. It takes Izzy everything she has not to double over in laughter; there's still a job to do!
"Go, my babies! Unto the world wreak your havoc!" Izzy whispers to the crabs, unceremoniously upending them over the wall and into the garden below. She assists the golems in the task as well, trying to be as quick and discreet as possible before the guard either returned to his post, or tried to investigate where the mysterious cat came from.
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Post by Lady Kamille Verlithax on Jun 18, 2023 22:55:42 GMT -5
Whether the crabs actually understood Izzy, or if chaos was ingrained in their instincts, it was hard to say. The crabs did crawl out of the buckets, tossed to the lush, green rug of grass that covered the beautiful garden. The gargoyles didn’t have the finesse - or brain power - to do what Izzy was doing without drawing too much attention to them, so they passed over the buckets to the tall lady and let her handle it.
While the angry screams were still heard in the distance, the army of crabs happily skittered along the beautiful garden. There were lots of pretty flowers and bushes for them to have their try, their pincers at the ready to dismantle all that took several months and an enormous effort to be built.
The gargoyles by Izzy's side froze suddenly, taking their fancy pose before shrinking back to the size of little chess pieces. Just on cue, a black cat showed up on the wall that separated the noble’s property and walked lazily and proudly towards Izzy, their tail swishing straight in the air. When the cat jumped to the ground, the sillhouette that rose once again was that of a woman with a black, feathery cloak and a cheeky smile. She quickly picked up the chess pieces that had been the gargoyles just a second prior.
"...How much ale do you think we need to be found face down by the gutter tomorrow morning?"
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Post by Issala 'Izzy' Arodre on Jun 29, 2023 0:05:14 GMT -5
The wonderful little crustaceans of chaos that she liberated all over the lovingly manicured lawn of nobility was the absolute highlight of Izzy's month, watching them skitter and explore their new territory while screams resonated in the background. The fellblood peered over the top of the fence like a cat trying its best to avoid notice.
What a day. What a lovely day.
She looks to the gargoyles as they start to shift next to her, and-- shrink, their magic apparently run its course as they transform back into tiny chess pieces. And, with the most impeccable of timing, Katmille appeared once again, tail swishing like a pleased hunter (as she should) before transforming back into Kamille proper.
Izzy applauds lightly but rapidly, keeping her volume low in case the guard on the other side of the wall should come back to his post rather than get treated for his many cat scratches. "Masterfully done, Miss Kamille, you are truly an arteest-- ooooh?" Izzy's ember eyes brighten and flicker at the idea of getting absolutely wasted, her grin splitting wide across her face-- the promise of a good time. How could she ever say no?
"At least a keg or two, between the two of us, I think, assuming you're not a lightweight," Izzy cackles; the compliment was earnest, though. If Kamille, a woman who by all appearances seemed like a lady who enjoyed the finer things, then she absolutely knew what was up.
With that, she offers the lady her arm to properly escort her, and the pair strut back up the street to the tavern of choice, leaving the crabs to their devices, and the occupants of the house to their absolute horror once they discovered the army in their back yard.
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