"You say po-tah-to? Hmph, weirdo." Said the tiny, fuzzy gremlin that had turned someone into a door.

Hylltywyll grumbled to himself as he though it over. It was true that he wasn't really the best choice when it came to... what could this be described as? Matchmaking? Recruiting? Whatever it was, he wasn't very suited to it. He preferred avoiding conversations with people most of the time. Usually because he'd just done something to upset those people, but still.

As fun as antagonizing Morrigan by keeping them a door was, Hylltywyll couldn't actually keep the Fellblood in that form forever anyways and this served as a convenient excuse for him to put an end to his magic without revealing that. Plus, he'd get some coin out of it. Hylltywyll didn't actually ever spend money on anything, just stealing whatever he wanted, but he did like to collect the shiny coins.

Before he ended the transformation though, he took the opportunity of Morrigan being helpless to place another spell on them. With a quick hand gesture, he placed another mental link between him and Morrigan, but this one was different from the last one. Instead of hearing and seeing whatever Morrigan did, he would know whenever Morrigan was lying to him. Just a little insurance in case the Fellblood started making promised they didn't intend to keep, Hylltywyll would know.

"Fine, I'll change you back in exchange for all the coins and shiny things you'll have on you when you're not a door anymore. And then you'll help find this door a friend. Deal?"

---

Detect Lies

“Deal!” Morrigan said quickly, not wanting to waste this opportunity - not but a few moments later, they were a person once more, flesh and blood and bones and all, and not a woodchip in sight! they twirled around in delight, ecstatic to have all of their moving limbs and faculties once more! “Oh, wonderful! As promised.”

They reached into their pocket and tossed him a coin pouch. Next came the shiny things, their rings… all but a single golden ring, a gift from Kvasir. If the fairy tried to touch that one Morrigan truly would rip him into shreds, his freaky magic be damned. They made up for it by plucking out their earrings, which had little sparkling gemstones in them. Those pieces of jewelry were tossed to the fairy in payment. They could always buy more jewelry later, and they had countless other pieces back in the wagon of wonders.

“So, you got a name to go with that… fuzziness?” They asked, lamenting the loss of their diamond earrings. “If we’re going to be friend hunting together, I may as well have something to call you, friend. You may call me Morrigan Moonweaver.”

Hylltywyll smiled gleefully as he caught the coin pouch. He could hear all the coins jingle and feel the heft of the pouch. This was a good amount of coins! Probably enough to buy some good things if he ever actually used money. He just dropped the bag into his shadow where it vanished as if it was falling through a hole instead of onto the floor beneath the Fairy's feet. He was much more excited to receive the jewelry from the gaudily accessorized Fellblood. Now these were some quality shinies!

"Hylltywyll." He replied to Morrigan simply as he looked over each ring and earring in his hands. He could feel the small ding in the back of his mind, letting him know Morrigan was being dishonest as they'd called him "friend", but he just ignored it. He dropped the rings and earrings into his shadow like he had the coin pouch before looking back at Morrigan and noticing one ring still on their purple finger.

"What about that one? I said all the shiny things. You're not going back on our deal, are you?" Hylltywyll accused as he pointed at the ring. Then he glanced at Morrigan's bag. "That also means any shinies you got in your bag! Can't friend hunt together if I can't trust you to keep your word, friend."

---

Hylltywyll's Shady Shelter

Much to Morrigan’s dismay, Hylltywyll noticed the one ring they didn’t want him to take. The easy, friendly smile on their face slid off as they twisted the golden ring, the gift Kvasir had given them for Hearth Day all those months ago.

“This one’s not for sale.” There was something in the edge of their voice that said they would go to bat for this particular item, whether they were aware of it or not - no tricks, no jokes, no pranks. Just them and their blade if Hylltywyll tried to challenge this particular denial.

They reached into their bag, pulling out a couple of necklaces and some stray coins they’d swiped from the bar earlier before coming down to the basement. “Here, you get these from the bag, and I’ve got another ring in my wagon that’s all yours if you leave this one alone.” They were used to giving shiny things in offering to Fish, so a trip to the market to replace their lost jewelry was nothing out of the ordinary. But this one thing…

“Is that an acceptable deal? A ring from my personal collection of equal value to this one. Then we can actually get to finding poor Doorian here a new friend!”

Hylltywyll looked Morrigan up and down, his eyes narrowed, before smiling again.

"What is it, your wedding ring or something? Well fine, you can keep your very special ring, but I want to look through your collection and pick out its replacement myself." He replied as he stowed away the last few bits that Morrigan tossed him from their bag. He did have to admit that the shiny things in the Fellblood's wagon weren't part of the deal since they weren't on them when they had stopped being a door. He could push for that ring, he was tempted to, really, seeing how important it must be to them, but he could tell it would be a lot more trouble for him than it was worth. Morrigan would probably try to kill him if he wouldn't let that one ring go, and he'd been promised a replacement anyways, so he'd leave it at that.

Doorian had watched the whole exchange silently, not wanting to butt in on the deal, but now that that seemed like it was all settled, he spoke up again.

"I'd prefer someone that can be friends with me, but I'd settle for anyone that I can get along with and talk to regularly. Just make sure they never say the phrase "I get bitches", that's a real deal breaker." He said with a smirk, looking toward Morrigan.

Hylltywyll chuckled at Doorian's joke and looked back to Morrigan. "I'm going to make it so I can talk in your head again. Don't be annoying." He said as he recreated the mental link between the two of them. He then scurried over and climbed up Morrigan's coat to sit on their shoulders, his hands holding onto the Fellblood's horns. "Let's go." He said, his voice directly in Morrigan's head.

---

Mind Parasite

If they were being honest, Morrigan expected haggling. They expected verbal berating. What they didn’t expect was Hylltywyll’s dismissive smile, and two words that Morrigan never expected to hear in their life.

“Wedding ring?” They sputtered, incredulous. Perhaps they would’ve gone along with the excuse, just to make sure Hylltywyll didn’t even think about pilfering it off their fingers, but they were honestly too flabbergasted to think of it. “Wedding ring?” They repeated, forcing out a huff of laughter. Gods, could you imagine? Morrigan engaged to Kvasir? Tied down to one person in holy matrimony, faithful to them for the rest of their life? No, marriage wasn’t for Morrigan.

The fact that they were not utterly repulsed at the idea of spending the rest of their life with the medic was unimportant.

“No, but it is a ring of great sentimental value.” They huffed. “Yeah, sure, whatever. You can pick your replacement.” They weren’t going to say that most of the rings in the wagon were cheap pieces of shit, usually pieces with fake gemstones or flaky gold paint. Morrigan usually wore their favorite things, and had gotten accustomed to cycling in some of the glimmery but cheap stuff in the wagon of wonders when they learned that Fish regularly rifled through their things. Hylltywyll taking one of those wouldn’t be much of a loss… it was a win-win.

“Well, no promises, as I can’t control the personality of whatever enchanted item we find, but I shall do my best! Scout’s honor!” Morrigan gave Doorian a two-fingered salute as Hylltywyll hopped onto the top of their shoulder, grabbing onto one of their horns like a rider grabbing onto a pair of reins on his horse. Morrigan blinked, getting used to the feeling of the mental link.

‘Whoa. Weird.’

They started making their way up the stairs, leaving Doorian behind. He’d gone quiet for now, most likely too hopeful at the prospect of having a new companion to lament his misery.

‘So, where do you think we should start? What are the chances that there’s another room in this place that has an enchanted sentient item, or should we broaden our scope elsewhere?’ Not for the first nor last time in their life did Morrigan lament their lack of magic. If they were a true mage, they’d be able to enchant something and give it life, and then bam! Problem solved. But thanks to this horrible curse, they would just have to solve things the old fashioned way.

"Hmmm. Probably just the one talking piece of furniture in this place. Let's look somewhere else." Hylltywyll responded after a moment of thought.

Talking furniture wasn't the most common thing to come across, and the idea that there would be multiple of them in the same building was even more absurd. If they somehow managed to find one anywhere nearby, it probably wasn't in the Dancer's Den. If it was, Hylltywyll would be dumbfounded.

Another thing to consider was that anyone in the bar had already shown they weren't big on talking to the door that was right below their feet. If there were regulars here that had any inclination to make friends with Doorian, they were doing a piss poor job of doing so. It'd probably be best to skip straight to looking elsewhere for a companion to the lonely door.

Whoever they found, Doorian had been clear it didn't need to be enchanted furniture they set him up with, but it seemed Morrigan didn't listen to that part. To be fair, maybe they were a bit preoccupied at the time. The mischievous Fairy let out a small chuckle just thinking about the Fellblood's face carved into wood.

"Now let's get going!" Hylltywyll commanded impatiently from his seat on Morrigan's shoulders, pulling and pushing the Fellblood's horns up and down like the reigns of a horse.

Morrigan grimaced when Hylltywyll jumped on their shoulders and started steering them like a rider atop a steed. At one point he even managed to get ahold of Morrigan’s braid, tugging on it to steer them up the stairs and out of the Dancer’s Den. “Ouch, ouch, watch the ears, watch the ears!”

They made their way up the stairs, ignoring the curious stares of the Darkveil patrons watching the glittery purple fuck piloted like a horse by a tiny fairy creature. In the mental link, they shouted, ‘Just for the record, I’m only going this direction because it’s convenient and it’s where we’re both heading! Not because you’re guiding me in that direction!’

Nevertheless they made their way outside.

The ash rained down on the pair as Morrigan made their way to the Wagon of Wonders, letting Hylltywyll inside, out of the elements. Inside, the creature would be able to see an assortment of objects as glimmery and exotic as the charlatan, and as eclectic and reflective of their own tastes as one might expect of them. Morrigan made their way to the table where they kept the jewelry, opening the fine, oak-wood box. “Here. Take what you want, then we should be on our way. There’s a market near here, yeah? I bet we could find Doorian a friend there. Lots of locals going shopping who would make prime friend material.” At this point it didn’t really matter if it was human or furniture, but Morrigan figured it was a win-win either way. Doorian would get a friend, Morrigan would be able to go shopping, and Hylltywyll… Hylltywyll could sit on his perch and feel vaguely superior or whatever the hell he did up on Morrigan’s shoulders.

"Uh-huh." Hylltywyll sarcastically agreed through the mental link, rolling his eyes behind Morrigan's head. Sure they were only going this way out of convenience. Whatever made them feel better about being so overpowered and steered around by someone less than half their size.

When they entered the wagon, the Fairy looked around with interest at all of the little bits and bobs throughout the place. There was quite the eclectic collection of exotic knick-knacks decorating the small space, but there was way too much glitter for his liking. Hylltywyll loves sparkly, shiny little treasures, but glitter wasn't one of them. It reminded him too much of Fairy dust from other Fairies and it was really hard to get out of his fur.

"Take what I want?" Hylltywyll repeated with a mischievous smile. Well, if they said so, then he would! And what he wanted was the entire box. He didn't even leave Morrigan's shoulders as he reached down and closed the lid of the box before grabbing the whole thing and quickly sliding it under his little poncho where it seemed to just vanish into thin air. Really, he was sliding it into the shadow beneath his poncho, straight into his hidden hoard of stolen goods stashed away in a secret pocket space.

"Done, now let's go find that friend material. Maybe there's something that talks for sale in the market." Hylltywyll chuckled, finding it hilarious to suggest buying something right after depriving the Fellblood of all their coin.

---

Hylltywyll's Shady Shelter

“What-?” Morrigan couldn’t stop the mischievous little fairy grin and reach for Morrigan’s entire jewelry box and sliding it into his poncho, never to be seen again. For a moment, Morrigan debated throttling the fairy, a mental image floating to mind of Morrigan shaking Hylltywyll with both hands to make jewelry clatter to the floor like golden rain. But… nah, it wasn’t worth it, especially when this crazy mage had the power to turn them back into a door with a snap of the fingers. They shook their head, pulling Hylltywyll out of the wagon. Oh, well. Maybe they could buy some more jewelry out in the marketplace.

At least, they would have, if they hadn’t given their money away to Hylltywyll earlier, a fact they were ruefully reminded of the second Morrigan stepped into the open air market, and was immediately accosted by a plethora of fine jewelry and clothes. Morrigan went to go pat down their pockets for their coin purse and found it quite conspicuously absent -

Right. Morrigan bartered it in exchange for their freedom from door form. Grumbling to themselves, Morrigan continued through the crowded market streets, until they came upon a conspicuous sign propped up against a wall. A modest crowd surrounded the sign, all cheering and waving their arms in the air. The sheer mass of people prevented Morrigan from getting a better look at the words on the sign, but as Morrigan craned their neck to look, one of the audience members shifted, allowing them to read the sign.

“Fantabulous, Wondrous, Magical Dancing Teapot! It shimmies and it shakes! It can even speak on command!”

And under, in smaller print,

“5 SOLARS PER TICKET TO WATCH THE SHOW”

Morrigan blinked. Well, finding a friend had been easy. But actually getting to that pot was another matter. They clapped their hands together, as if that was that, and declared, ‘Whelp! Guess we’re going to have to steal it!’

There was so much fine jewelry, shiny little trinkets, tasty-looking snacks, and so many carelessly exposed coin purses. It was all so tempting, so alluring. Hylltywyll drooled a little onto Morrigan's head as he gazed around at all the things he so, so wanted to steal.

After this friend-stealing mission, he would have to come back here, but now he needed to be patient. He was on top of Morrigan's shoulders, clearly visible. Exposed. If he tried to pickpocket anyone from here, it'd be too easy to see. He'd come back later, stealthily, in the shadows. These people wouldn't know where all their jewelry and solars went at all then.

Hylltywyll let out a little chuckle as Morrigan said they would have to steal something. As if he'd have it any other way. What idiot would pay money for... anything, really? But, what was Morrigan talking about? He'd been too distracted looking around at all his future possessions that he hadn't noticed the crowd getting denser, gathered in front of something.

Hyll looked at the sign and smirked. He was so glad he'd made that witch lady teach him how to read! A dancing teapot that can speak on command sounded like the perfect new friend for Doorian. 

"Perfect! Let's sneak in from the back." He spoke into Morrigan's mind.

‘Sneak in from the back?’ Even through the mental link Hylltywyll would be able to hear the scoff in Morrigan’s voice. They were about as subtle as a peacock in a pigpen, with all the glitter and pomp and circumstance to accompany it. ‘I’m about as subtle as a siren in a China shop! If you sneak around the back, I’ll provide a distraction from the front while you use those sneaking skills to go around back and grab our new friend.’

They grinned, plucking the bag of wonders from their belt and waving it in the air with a triumphant look on their face. ‘Watch this. If these spectators want a show, I’m going to give them a show!’

At least, they hoped. Fate was a cruel mistress ofttimes - sometimes she smiled, and sometimes she laughed. But with any luck Morrigan would be able to create a big enough diversion to allow Hyl to sneak around the back and do the brunt of the work while Morrigan could get away lazing around out front and throwing glitter.

With that in mind, they reached into the bag of wonders and pulled out their prize.^[1]

---

1. Jolly Bag of Tricks
KKHko_d8

Hylltywyll didn't like being told what to do, or having his orders refused, but Morrigan was actually not wrong. The purple Fellblood stood out way too much, especially dressed in such bright, flashy, sparkling clothing. No, they wouldn't be able to sneak around well at all, unlike the little Dark Fairy. He'd be better off alone.

But, he didn't trust Morrigan. He'd detected a bit of dishonesty in their speech when they'd spoken about providing a distraction. There was something they weren't being totally honest about and Hylltywyll was suspicious.

"Fine, but don't think about slacking off or trying to trick me. I'll know." He spoke directly through the mental link as he stood up on Morrigan's shoulders and gave them a poke between their eyes, hoping to remind Morrigan of the link's existence. If the Fellblood went anywhere, Hylltywyll would see and hear everything they did anyways. They'd find them.

With his warning delivered, Hylltywyll climbed down and scampered off, flitting from shadow to shadow to stay out of sight, and made his way down an alleyways and to the back of the building. The back door was locked tight, but that didn't bother him at all. With a bit of magic, he just made his own. Behind some piled up trash in the alleyway, a hole opened up in the shadows, straight through the wall.

The little venue that whoever was running this thing seemed to have chosen some kind of small theater for their show. Hylltywyll stepped directly into some kind of backstage area, a red curtain hanging from above. He peaked through the curtain to see a table on stage with a single teapot set on top of it, right in the middle, beneath a spotlight.

He could hear the murmuring of the crowd beyond a second curtain. Before they started opening, he darted forward, having to expose himself in the bright stage lights, but he managed to hide again in the shadow beneath the cloth-covered table.

---

One With the Shadows
Create Door

‘I’m not gonna, I’m not gonna!’ They protested, raising their hands in the air in the universal gesture of I’m innocent I tell you, scout’s honor. It wasn’t like they’d have to do much, anyways. The wreath they pulled out from the bag would get most of the job done for them. They threw the enchanted item on the ground, watching in glee as tangled vines and spikes grew on the ground, effectively trapping all the spectators in place.

Gasps arose from the crowd as they started glancing around, looking for the source of the sudden trap. Morrigan pulled themselves onto a nearby apple crate, spreading their arms out wide in the air. “Ladies and gentlemen, and all things in between, listen up! This has been a surprise miracle from the Wizard of the Wastes!”

They clapped their hands together, waving a shower of glitter around, holding for applause.

… But none came.

“Oh, come on, tough crowd.” Morrigan bemoaned. “Haven’t any of you heard my moniker before?”

“… Are you really a wizard?” Someone in the crowd asked, unimpressed.

“Well of course I am!” They replied, raising their hand in the and expelling more glitter into the air. “Look at all this magic that exudes from my very fingertips!”

“Well can you do a trick? You’d be a pretty shoddy wizard otherwise.”

“Of course I can do tricks!” Morrigan protested hotly, crossing their arms. “Watch this… I can turn myself into a frog!”

With that, they pulled their silk brocade over themselves, allowing the enchantment to flow over them. In a flash and a sparkly puff, they were no longer a fellblood, but a little pink frog, hopping back and forth for a few moments before turning back into themselves.^[1] “Tah-dah!”

… Crickets.

“Eh, my gran can do that! And she’s dead!” Some unimpressed naysayer in the crowd shouted.

“Boo! You guys are no fun.” Morrigan huffed. “You wouldn’t know magic if it hit you in the face-“

Somewhere from the crowd, a tomato sailed from someone’s hand and whacked Morrigan in the head. “Ow- hey?” They furiously tried to wipe tomato off of their face, but it was too late. The damage had already been done. Their focus distracted from the singing teapot, the crowd of Darkveil’s market had found a new favorite pastime - tormenting the hack wizard. Morrigan desperately covered their face, attempting to cover themselves from rotting vegetables and fruits, though there would be no getting the stench of alcohol out of their clothes.

‘I hope Hylltywyll is having a better time than me right now! He better have gotten his hands on that teapot!’

---

1. Pondcho

Damn, this was some of the most humiliating treatment he'd ever seen, and he didn't even do any of it. Hylltywyll watched the whole scene unfold from Morrigan's point of view, the Fairy seeing and hearing the crowd jeer at the hack wizard through the mental link. It was almost sad, really. Almost. Hylltywyll would have laughed if he wasn't in a bit of a strange situation himself.

"Ladies and gentleman, I present to you what you've all been waiting for! The fantabulous, wondrous, Magical Dancing Teapot!" A presenter announced to the crowd as the curtain parted. A n incredibly small cheer and a single, lonely whistle sounded out. Looked like the crowd in here was just as tough as the one Morrigan was facing. A cough echoed louder than the cheering had.

On top of the table, the teapot started to shimmy and shake. Hylltywyll heard if from beneath the table, the clattering of the porcelain on wood. It did a whole little routine, like a strange tap dance with four, tiny legs. It was a bit underwhelming, judging by the crowd's reaction.

"Ha-cha cha cha, ha-cha cha cha!" A little voice came from the teapots spout as it danced around. It finished on a high note, doing a little spin and standing slightly tilted. If it had arms, it's probably be doing jazz hands right now.

"I paid 5 solars for this!?" Someone shouted from the back of the crowd.

"H-hello! I..." The little voice came from the teapot again, but now it sounded unsure, not enjoying the performance like it had been just a moment ago. The bored faces of the crowd and the jeer got under its porcelain and it suddenly froze, forgetting its lines. The announcer glanced back and forth between the crowd and the teapot with a worried look.

Now Hylltywyll actually felt bad for someone. A teapot.