Kou was blissfully ignorant to the fact that suspicion had been cast upon them. Heck, the elderly woman didn’t rightfully even know they were truly doing anything wrong in the first place. Tarou, on the other hand, was criminal enough to know when he’d been made. It was a smart enough idea to act like a government asshole, but the disguise didn’t exactly hold up to scrutiny for long periods of time.

The fellblood slipped his fork into his pocket as the others whispered about their weird party. Just as a precaution. You never know.

Yeah, this was gonna be a problem.

“I’ll also be back.” He stood. Tarou didn’t know where Hyll was goin’ and he didn’t care. But the criminal had his own business to take care of. He was used to silencing people in a… different kind of way. Think of it as insurance. “Gotta piss.”

“Don’t take too long, now!” Kou replied, as oblivious as ever. “The food should be out soon.”

Tarou nodded, but he’d already kinda tuned out in favor of keeping his eyes on the prize. He had some people to kill…

Wait. Huh? Where the hell’d they go?

One second they were standing there whispering, and the next they’d disappeared. Kind of like the way those clothes had disappeared off that officer. Tarou’s eyes narrowed.

That little bastard stole my kill!

Grumbling to himself, Tarou shoved his hands in his pockets and made his way back to the table. Hylltywyll was already back, but their food wasn’t, on account of the fact that their waiter was currently out of commission. It was then he noticed what had likely given them away. “Oh, shit, gran. Let me get that for you.” He leaned down and plucked the tag off her dress.

“Oh, now you’re just the sweetest, aren’t you?” Kou murmured, patting him on the head. “Now, I wonder what the holdup in the kitchen is…”

It took a while, but eventually another waiter realized that his friend was missing and delivered them what they had been waiting for. The food was marvelous, in Kou’s opinion. Tarou only thought it was just about alright, because he was an unfortunate grandma’s boy and thought there wasn’t really anything better than gran’s cooking. He did, however, cast a few suspicious glances Hylltywyll’s way intermittently. Unfortunately, as their food arrived, so too did trouble… in the form of some other imperial officers entering the restaurant to enjoy their lunch break. And they were getting ready to take their seats nearby.

Tarou began to sweat.

Oblivious, Kou moved to give Hylltywyll a bite of her food. “Here, try this! It’s simply marvelous!”

Hylltywyll gave no indication of caring or even noticing that he had snatched Tarou's targets out from under him. He just sat in the booth, waiting for their meal to arrive as Tarou sat back down. It took a while considering their waiter was now suddenly missing, but they eventually got a new one. Hyll didn't really mind. He wasn't hungry for the food that was being brought out anyways.

He ate his plate of sushi one piece at a time, enjoying the taste. It wasn't bad for just raw fish, rice, and dried seaweed. Some of them were a little more interesting, with some eggs or vegetables, but none of it was anything special in his opinion. Maybe his sense of taste just wasn't very strong now that he needed mana to survive. His taste buds were more developed to tell the difference between earth domain magic and sea domain magic than the difference between tuna and salmon. Oh well. It was still not bad.

Hyll ate the offered spoonful of oyster soup, closing his mouth around the spoon whose handle was in Kou's hand. He wasn't a fan of it. How the old lady could call it marvelous, he didn't know. He preferred his sushi. He gave Tarou a glare when he ordered the Sol City crab. They were exporting the fruits of his labor? Releasing a crab infestation upon the city? Just despicable. He'd remember that for later.

He scooped some green paste stuff from his plate, onto one of the pieces of fish laid across a clump of rice. He didn't know what this stuff was, but if they put it on his plate, he was supposed to eat it, right? He plopped the whole piece of sushi into his mouth and chewed.

Oh.

OH.

OH NO.

Why did it burn!? It was a kind of burn he'd never felt before, not even when he ate peppers. It was pungent. Why could he feel it in his ears? His nose had never felt so clear before, and his eyes watered, and as quickly as it had cleared sinuses he didn't know he had, it was gone.

He looked with wide eyes at the pile of green paste on his plate before smiling and doing it again. He'd have to order more of this stuff.

He didn't even notice the officials sit just a couple tables over as he enjoyed his food.

Kou was somewhat disheartened by the fact that Hylltywyll was not especially excited by the food that they’d ordered. Though it wasn’t her cuisine, it was rather good (in her opinion), and what a treat it was to enjoy the labor of a master of the culinary arts!

Kou was experienced; she’d spent almost her entire life in the kitchen. Though she’d never been taught by practiced hands and a knowledgeable master. She liked to think she knew what tasted good when paired together, where this chef… oh, he was simply a master of what he did. He’d taken the totality of his parts and elevated them rather than just adding them. And Hylltywyll didn’t even seem all that impressed! Suddenly she worried that if she cooked for the little guy, he might react much the same way.

But he did seem to enjoy the wasabi!

Overjoyed to have found something that pleased him, Kou reached for her own plate and scooped the wasabi for her side dishes onto his plate. “Here! You can have mine. According to my regular medic, I shouldn’t be eating anything particularly spicy anyways.”

Of course, the old lady was generally too stubborn to listen to her doctor, but you know. That was neither here nor there.

Continuing with her own meal, Kou broke the silence with conversation once more, “What kinds of food do you enjoy from your own homeland? I’ve taken to traveling the world, you know, and still nothing quite compares to what brings me comfort.” She patted the dark wood table with a smile. “So I understand struggling with foods that aren’t familiar to you.”

That was completely not the case, though she seemed delighted at the prospect of helping a friend.

“I could even try to make a dish for you, if you’d like!” Maybe if he had the comforts of home he’d be less grumpy and therefore less inclined to go around ruining people’s day. She was pretty sure Hylltywyll was lonely; maybe even homesick. Strange as it was, she’d had a downright lovely today, bumps and all. It was rare she found someone who didn’t treat her as frail porcelain or assumed that because her body was going, her mind was feeble in turn.

Once you were aged, some people simply stopped considering you a person and more an antiquity to keep on a shelf at a distance.

Tarou tried, gods bless him. But Kou wanted nothing to do with rotting away in a little lonely house when she could spend the last of her life having as much fun as possible. Not once had Hylltywyll treated her like lesser, even if he was a little prickly about it.

Wait. Speaking of Tarou. Where was he?

Kou set down her chopsticks and glanced around, finally spotting the guests at the nearby table. Or make that guest, as similarly with Tarou from his own seat, one of the government officials had been dining next to them was also gone…

Tarou then emerged from the wash closet and took a seat.

“Sorry about that. Had to, uh… piss again.”

Nice one, Tarou.

None would be the wiser. Especially not Kou, who’d foregone questions in favor of leaning over and cleaning a little red spot off his government robe with her handkerchief and a spot of water. “Oh, now look at that, you’ve gone and gotten chili sauce all over these fine clothes you’re borrowing. How did you even manage that in the bathroom?”

Tarou shrugged. The other government official had still yet to return.

Hylltywyll grinned happily as Kou plopped the scoop of wasabi onto his plate. He was about to enjoy another extra-spicy piece of sushi when he noticed Tarou was gone. Oh. This was a perfect opportunity. While Kou looked away to take a sip of her soup, Hyll took the scoop of wasabi and dropped it into Tarou's sake cup. With a quick bit of magic, the now murky greenish liquid looked completely normal again, a tiny illusion disguising his prank from the naked eye.

He popped another piece of sushi into his mouth just as Kou looked to him and asked him about what foods he liked. He tilted his head as he thought about it. He wasn't a picky eater. He liked a lot of foods and didn't think he struggled with unfamiliar ones. He liked trying new ones. It wasn't as satisfying to do so ever since he started needing to eat magic to survive, but he could still enjoy eating new foods, like he was doing now.

But what foods were his favorites? He didn't really eat a lot of finished fancy dishes. His favorite foods were things he'd stolen. Fruits and vegetables from gardens. Finger foods off of party tables. Pastries and bread out of baskets. The times anyone had bought him food were few and far between, and one of those times turned into a nightmare. He'd never be able to eat a brownie again. Thinking of the best foods he'd eaten, he remembered one pretty clearly.

"I like dumplings..." He said quietly.

He wouldn't say it, but he was pretty sure the dumpling that Kou herself had given him today was one of the best things he remembered eating. It was better than this sushi he was eating now.

Tarou suddenly came back and sat down, doing a poor job of lying. Hyll could even see blood on him. What was he doing, beating someone up? What a violent man.

"Hm, maybe you should drink less if you need to pee so much." Hyll said with just a subtle hint of mockery. He avoided looking at the wasabi-filled sake cup and instead stared straight at Tarou with a slight grin. Oh, spite could be such an easy tool to manipulate someone into falling for a prank, and he knew Tarou was spiteful.

---

Minor Trickery

Kou, of course, was none the wiser to Hylltywyll’s continued pranking of her grandson. She was merely delighted that the little fellow had found something he enjoyed out of the restaurant’s cuisine. Food was her love language - where words often failed her, she found comfort in bringing comfort to others with their favorite delights. There was something quite wonderful about the little vulnerabilities they carried with them.

Everyone needed to eat.

And Hylltywyll liked dumplings, too! That was something she could do, without question.

Kou nodded emphatically, her little round spectacles practically falling off her nose with the motion. “Dumplings, that’s wonderful!” She then nodded, reaching a conclusion seemingly on her own. “That settles it. You’ll just have to come to my home some time and I’ll make them for you. Of course, you could order some here, if you were so inclined, but I doubt you’d get the same love you would from mine!”

She let out a good-natured laugh. Though she was generally a humble woman, Kou was not without her own pride. She liked to think she was a fairly good chef. She’d run a restaurant for most of her life, after all!

“I live a little ways away at the edge of Starlight City. I can take you there, if you’d like, just to show you where it is. My doors are always open to you.”

“Gran, please don’t tell me you’re inviting this thing into our house.” Tarou said as he returned, catching the tail end of what Kou was saying to him while he took his seat.

Kou merely smiled at him, as innocent as a prayer. “Oh, but don’t you want to have company over? It can get awful quiet with just the two of us…” She’d enjoyed the fact that her friend Yasei had livened up the place during his own visit, but friends were few and far between. She would always welcome the company.

Tarou didn’t reply, but the look on his face clearly read any company but that little asshole. Said little asshole then proceeded to provoke him into some kind of response. A vein in Tarou’s forehead bulged at the provocation. Instead of replying, he calmly picked up his sake cup, and took a long swig.

And immediately doubled over, coughing and wheezing.

What the FUCK was that? No, seriously, what the fuck?

“Oh, Tarou! Are you alright?” Kou asked, pulling herself up from her seat to make sure he was alright before Tarou waved her off, face even redder than it normally was.

“I’m - fine.” He wheezed, eloquently, like someone who was not fine. While she fretted, he picked himself up and glowered at the tiny shit in the chair across from him. Oh, this motherfucker. Tarou wasn’t sure why, or how, but he just knew that the fuzzy shit was behind this. So that was how he wanted to do this, huh? Two could play that game.

Tarou stood, resolve renewed. He knew exactly how to get revenge on this fucker for butting into this day with his gran. Brushing off his robes, Tarou cast a glance at Kou. “I’ve gotta go piss again. Keep drinking, and all that.”

He then made a beeline straight for the nearest waiter, just out of earshot of where Kou and Hylltywyll were talking. “See that little furry thing? I’ve got word that he’s a member of the Defiant Drakes. Assaulted an officer, stole his badge, and has been usin’ it to terrorize that poor old woman. You might wanna go take care of that.”