Food Distribution 

Shaa sat at his kitchen table thumbing through the various muffin recipes that he had accumulated throughout the years. What made something a good or a bad muffin was, of course, all a matter of personal preference but considering the sheer volume of muffins he consumed, he had always considered himself something of a connoisseur on the topic. Heck, he had even written a book on the topic. But like any great obsession, Shaa had his white whale. The unobtainable object that haunted his pastry fantasies. In his case, it wasn’t the muffin itself. Shaa had actually tasted joy and knew it’s name. It’s name was “Carter Tiddlewinks Muffin Stuffins”

Two years ago, no one had even heard of a muffin stuffin. Then, seemingly overnight, the things were in every market in Charon. Given away for practically nothing, they had soon infested every hut, house and hostile from the crescent isles to dragons cradle. Once everyone was hooked, the creatively minded tried to replicate the recipe. To everyone’s surprise, there was no comparison. Admittedly some amazing attempts had come out as a result, some even in ended up in his book. But none even held a candle to the fluffy monsters. And no one could figure out why. Soon enough, the philosophical question had become necessity as Carter jacked up muffin prices 10 fold.

Despite the severe price, sales never flagged. There was just something ineffable about them which made no sense to anyone. Shaa was a firm believer that nothing mass produced could ever hold a candle to something well crafted at home. It was kind of like when your mom makes a sandwich and you make the exact same sandwich with the same ingredients and your moms still tastes better for some reason. These things were the only exception to that rule and it was maddening.

The eponymous Carter Tiddlewinks was no help either. Shaa had never met the man himself but he had heard rumors and stories of people who had asked his secret. He was always polite in public of course. Spouting some mind numbing blather about being made with love or unicorn farts or some tripe. But there were other, darker stories as well. Stories of people who figured out the secret and disappeared in the night. Stories of strange noises coming from the factory. A factory guarded by…the undead. 

Those were just stories of course. What was fact was that people were going broke to buy the things and there was only one way to fix that. They needed the secret. Not for Shaa and his somewhat empty coin purse. But for the world to free them from the clasp of that greedy goober Carter. As it happened, Shaa may have finally found a way. Shaa closed his book and headed out the Labyrinth door. He was on his way to Thunderhoof village to meet up with an referred to him by his friend Izzy. Someone named Fish? Even some of the fighters in the guild were aware of him so Shaa was willing to meet. If these guy was as a good a “ re distributer” of goods as his reputation suggested, people would be knee deep in tasty goodness by the end of the week.

For all of Shaa's investment in muffins, Fish held little. They had stolen plenty in their short lifespan, but never savored them. Each muffin was either eaten in haste or used as a decoy because particularly stupid guards will follow literal breadcrumbs if you leave them behind.

What did interest Fish enough about this job was the supposed gold involved. Muffin Stuffins were a lucrative business, one Fish could easily utilize if they so wished. The problem was finding someone who could actually compete with this "Carter Tiddlewinks." That was going to be the real challenge for the bird's burgeoning crime front.

Eliminate the competition and fill the void, Fish could get behind a plan like that. Their partner for the job came at the suggestion of Izzy thought which made Fish immediately wary of what could be involved. Fish arrives at the meeting spot, seemingly just appearing beside the big bull. The height difference between them was quite something. They look up to Shaa, "Fish is here." They sign a few words just to see if he understands sign language.

Shaa sits at a table nursing his drink when a small avian who starts giving him some sort of strange hand signs appears beside him. Shaa is confused at the gestures from the tiny avian. Was this Fish? Why would they name an Avian Fish? And why wasn’t it saying anything? Was it deaf? Izzy never mentioned they may need an interpreter. Most of the sign language that Shaa knew was battlefield short hand like “stay here” or “ kill that guy” . Then of course there was the more obvious one fingered salute but whatever the little bird was doing was getting quickly beyond him.

Not wanting to be rude, Shaa attempts sign language. He attempts to sign “ Are you Fish, I am Shaa the Minotaur”  What he actually signed was “ Fish have legs, Shaa walks your cat”  Shaa looks at Fish to see where the message landed but doesn’t have a lot of confidence.  Can you read little bird or get an interpreter or something? Otherwise this is going to take all day and we have a lot of stuff to do. Shaa does another quick check around the tavern. If you are worried about security around here don’t be. We are going to attract more attention playing flappy bird then just sitting and talking. Shaa holds out his hand towards the other chair at the table. Please, take a seat. Shaa takes another sip and gives the bird a closer look. Look flappy, if you are Fish, I need to know a bit more about you. Our …let’s call it a “ business venture” as some significant risk attached to it. I need a …um person guy thing .. being.. who can handle their crap. There is a lot of opportunity for a person who can be subtle as I myself..welll am not. Can you be subtle my friend? Shaa waves over a waitress and orders another drink for Fish.

Fish's shoulders drop a bit, of course Izzy neglected to let Shaa know that they were mute. Fish was going to pin a note to the lizard's chest with a bolt next time they meet. They slip their backpack off and set it on the table, digging around until they pull out the chalk and slate.

"Fish will write, you can talk. Fish is mute, not deaf." They sit down, erasing the board as they listen to Shaa talk. While Shaa is talking, they look at the little nubbin of chalk left and flick it away before pulling out a fresh piece. The idle chunk seems to land in the drink of someone not paying attention.

"Fish is not called Fish the Sneak for nothing. Fish specializes in heists and infiltration. There is a reason Shaa did not hear Fish until Fish arrived." They are careful to angle the chalkboard so that only Shaa can read it, keeping an eye to make sure no one else in the tavern is listening.

The Minotaur read the notes on the board and understood the situation. Ok good. I was worried there for a minute. Between you and me Flaps, I tend to do a lot of the talking anyway. Shaa snorts a bit and takes a pull from his large mug. If you don’t mind, you looked a bit young so I got you a fizzy Kobold. All fruit and some fuzzy magic, no alcohol. I get them myself sometimes when my stomachs get upset. Shaa pushes the drink over. Please. I insist.

He thinks for a moment. Well considering your specialties, I think you will be just right for what I had in mind. As I said, the job will require a bit of subtlety. What we are looking for is a recipe. I’m assuming that Izzy let you in on which one. Anywho, I got it on good authority from a like minded individual that the recipe only has one copy. A copy that is kept in a safe in Mr Tiddlewinks mansion. Of course, I could just go busting in and try to grab it but, if I do that, he will know someone is after it and will hide it so deep it could be lost forever. We can’t risk that soooo.

Shaa pushes a small leather pouch over to Fish. The job, if you think you can hack it, is to “ infiltrate” the mansion, squire the documents and get back out without being noticed. Once you do that, I have some friends that are waiting with ovens. We are going to flood the poor quarters with muffins and so many copies of the recipe that everyone will know it within a day. The pouch, is for your trouble. Shaa waits for Fish to inspect the pouch. What do you say…er write? You in?

Fish narrows their eyes at Shaa. "Fish." They underline the word then point to themselves. "Not Flaps. Fish does not use nicknames." They would rankle more at the remark about looking young, but that was less outright saying Fish was a kid and it seemed Shaa was not putting too much stock into their age. Fish could let this transgression slide.



They plop down into the seat, grabbing the mug with both hands as the minotaur talks. Occasionally they tip back a drink, most of it spill out seeing as a beak isn't the best thing for drinking. Bold of Shaa to assume Izzy told Fish anything if she neglected to tell Shaa that they were mute. Another heist, Fish liked when the target was something much more interesting than just gold. Don't get the bird wrong, they like gold, but different items means a different challenge.



The mug is set down and the pouch inspected. "Fish can do that....What will your role in the mission be? Or will you wait somewhere for Fish to return?" They look curiously up to the minotaur. It seemed they wouldn't be the most useful when it came to stealth, but like Izzy they could provide intimidation just based on his sheer size. Still, it was probably best the operate with enough distance between each other. They are curious about Shaa though, seemed an odd target, corporate espionage was still a new field when it came to crime. Oh well, this gave Fish a chance to get in on the ground floor....or the roof. Whatever was easier to access.

Shaa looks at the chalkboard and indignant look on the little Avians face and chuckles, holding up his hands in fake surrender. Ohhh exuuuuseeee me Ser Fish THE Sneak master fancy pant’s esquire. I’ll be sure to be more careful in the future. Oh this kid was a barrel of sugar packed goblins. On top of the no talking thing, this quest was going to be a blast of personality. Humph. As long as he could be as sneaky as his reputation let on, they would be fine. That being said, Shaa put a little note in his brain to help this kid pull the stick out of his butt. He always was a glutton for punishment.

As for my role, I already told you. Once you get the recipe, I will be coordinating the muffin runs and recipe copies and distribution. I am also going to be there at the mansion as your back up. Shaa pulls out a straw and sticks it in the Avians drink. You know, back up. If you mess it up, just who do you think will be getting you out of there hmmm? You might be super sneaky but I would never send you in there blind with no back up. They are just muffins after all, not worth jail time. Might pay to be nicer to the guy helping to keep your feathered heinie out of clinker, nes pas? Shaa took another long sip letting that all sink in. 

Anywho, you in or what? If not, I know so many shadowy sneakers out there that would love this job….if you don’t think you can hack it Mr. Fish sir. Shaa wondered if a little reverse psychology would work on him.

Fish points to their beak as Shaa sticks the straw in, "No lips, cannot create suction with straw." Though Fish did have to give him props for trying. It wasn't often people tried to make accomodations for the bird. Most people just got awkward and nervous, choosing instead to just leave the bird alone.

"Shaa assumes that Fish would get caught and not that Fish would lead the guards right to Shaa before escaping." It was hard to tell if Fish was joking or being serious seeing as they had to right everything down, but it was certainly the least professional thing the bird had said so far.

"Fish would not have come if Fish intended to turn the job down. Lead the way to the target." Fish tucks the slate and chalk away ready to hop down from the table and head off. They do glance up at Shaa's shoulders and resist the urge to go up for a ride. He is much taller than Izzy which mathematically means it has to be better, right? That's how height works.

Perhaps at the end of this grand adventure that can be part of Fish's reward. One (1) Minotaur back ride through King's Valley.

Shaa considers the bird man’s words about lack of suction and shakes his head. Ya know kid? Sometimes you just to be creative. Shaa reaches down, picks Fish up , places a blanket on his shoulder to protect him from the thorns in Shaa’s skin and adds Fish on top. He grabs a bowl from the bar and a plain muffin from his travel bag. Breaking up the muffin in the bowl, he pours just enough of the drink in for the pieces to soak up. Handing up the bowl, he heads out the door. There ya go, snack for the road. Bird perched on his shoulder, he felt a bit like a pirate.

The location of the mansion in question was a well guarded secret. The factory itself was in Sol City but Carter chose to live secluded from all the hustle and bustle. Shaa has it on good authority that the mansion was deep in a forest North East of Thunderhoof village. There were some rumors that the woods were haunted so most people going to the desert just went directly north and avoided it entirely. From Shaa’s own experience, the forest was more about bandits and marauders than ghosts candy goblins. it was the perfect cover for someone not looking to get visitors.

If they kept a good pace, the entire trip would take a day. Shaa knew the area well and would be able to avoid the tribes and cut normal travel time down significantly. As they started to leave town, several other travelers could be seen coming and going on their eway. The fact they were going to the forest would not be immediately obvious which was a good thing. Just don’t forget to tell me when you need a break.

At being grabbed, Fish's first instinct is to escape, but suddenly they realize how tall they are.....This would be acceptable. Fish does look curiously at the bowl handed to them.......Well, Shaa was certainly trying. Perhaps Fish would have to be more direct about their dietary needs for future outings. The bowl is quietly dumped out and dropped behind them. Couldn't risk having literal sticky hands when trying to have metaphorically sticky hands.

"Fish is fine since Fish is not walking." The board is held in front of Shaa's face just long enough for him to read it and not blind him the entire time.

Shaa's shoulders are broad enough that Fish can take a seat, holding onto one of his horns just for stability. They kept an eye to the road to help scout for any signs of the this mansion. Hidden or not, there would eventually be signs. It took up space somewhere which meant there would eventually be an unnatural break in the trees. That would be their sign, or so Fish thought at least, they could only make assumptions based on the information Shaa had given.

A hidden mansion buried deep in the woods meant the man was careful and likely paranoid...that meant Fish would have to be a bit more serious on this job. The person likely prepared for thieves and brigands to try and steal his wealth and recipe. Fish was happy to learn this would actually be a test of their skills.

The walk to the forest was long and uneventful. As they reached the border, Shaa looked over at his companion. Ok kid, it’s been pretty easy so far but now we get into the thick of it. This forest is full of thieves, brigands and people that would sell their own mothers for quick money. We are heading in and as long as you stick with me, you’ll be fine. I’d tell you to keep your mouth shut but that isn’t exactly a problem for you is it. Hehe anyway, just keep your eyes open. That mansion has got to be in here somewhere.

The moment they passed through the tree line, the atmosphere changed. The forest felt dark and foreboding as if the very trees were looking at you. Shaa wouldn’t be surprised if some sort of enchantment wasn’t at play here but, goal in mind, he pressed forward through the dense foliage. I meant to ask you earlier, can you fly? Not sure if that is a touchy subject with you bird guys or not. I’ve flown on a dragon a couple time, I get the appeal. Not as an everyday thing mind you but, you know, on the off chance it comes up, it can be fun. What was that?

Shaa stopped in his tracks. He could hear breaking branches and leaves rustling in the distance. Shaa quickly ducks down low and behind a tree to try and blend in as much as he can. He can make out several Gnoll coming down a path in the distance. Not wanting to start trouble, he holds his breath and sees if they notice him.

Fish shakes their head at the question of flight, but as they hop from Shaa their cloak does catch wind and slow their descent before they seemingly disappear into the brush.[1] While Shaa tries to blend in with the background, Fish melts away.

The minotaur can hear the rapid and deep sniffing of gnolls. Their noses are held aloft as they come into view, looking around the area with a hungry look.

"You smell that Ralph?" Sniff....sniff sniff. "What is that smell?"

More deep and rough sniffs that threaten to take the air from the very forest. "Muffins?"

This response gets a slap from the other gnoll and a yelp from the assaulted one, "Of course you smell muffins Ralph, we are right next to a muffin maker mansion."

"Well EXCUSE ME Corey, but THAT'S WHAT IT SMELLS LIKE." The pair snarl at each other before simultaneously lunging for the other, ending up in a cartoonish scuffle.

Fish is very confused as to what is happening, but they seem to have gone unnoticed so that is a win for Fish. They look over to where Shaa is to see if the minotaur is ready to move or if he wants to just clobber the gnolls.

Shaa watches the Gnoll, ready to spring into action in case they are discovered. He looks over to Fish who he thinks is giving him some questioning look for direction. He puts a finger up to his snout and slowly shakes his head “no” to indicate they need to stay quiet and hidden. Shaa could not believe that his admittedly excessive muffin habit had actually worked as camouflage. He would have to store this little incident away as justification when it came up in the future.

After the Gnoll were done scuffling, they continued on down the road until their voices disappeared into the distance. Their cover still in tact for now, Shaa motions the bird man to continue on. It was sad that he couldn’t fly. A little air recon right now could have been handy. But since when did the universe ever make things easy on the big fighter? As the two continued through the brush, Shaa notices something strange.

Up to this point, the forest had been full of the ambient noises of birds, bugs and all of the typical forest creatures that you would expect. But now suddenly, there was nothing. No chirping. No buzzing. Just absolute silence. Shaa rubs his fingers together to see if he can hear a sound. Sure enough, he could hear his fingers rubbing together but they seemed much larger than he expected. Perhaps the silence made it seem that way or perhaps something else more sinister was happening.

Fish quickly moved on from whatever nonsense the Gnolls were on about. This could mean they were either very close or very far away. Oh well, Fish liked the walking honestly. They keep to the brush though, staying hidden in the safety of shadows and shrubbery.

It is significantly slower than going by the road, but this way they are able to bypass and would-be patrols. The path is strangely empty though. It made some sense, if the man was paranoid enough to go through such lengths to hid his home he might be hesitant to hire guards. They could just be spies.

Through enough walking though the bird and the bull do come upon a wide wall made of thick stone. It was plenty high enough, but unguarded. The lack of security was starting to make Fish a bit nervous honestly. There would be some defenses, but what?

Fish reemerged from the shadows in front of Shaa, chalkboard in hand. "Fish would assume this is it. Fish can climb over or find the front gate and unlock it. The concern is any traps or surprises that may lay inside."

Of course the third option was to just knock, but that wouldn't be something Fish suggests.

Shaa looks at the wall and nods in agreement. I mean, how many large guarded structures could be in a place like this? Shaa motions to the bird man to ascend the wall and that he is going to follow the walls perimeter. For whatever reason, it appears they were still hidden and Shaa wanted to keep it that way as long as possible. Any alarms would put Carter on the defensive and could end their little adventure before it even started. Shaa gives Fish a little boost and he is soon quietly at the top of the wall. Quiet was good so Shaa started to make his way around the perimeter of the wall to see what other nonsense might impede their escape.

As he continued around, the silence seemed to permeate everything around or near the wall. Was there something about the wall itself that was enchanted? Shaa placed his hand against the rough stone but couldn’t feel anything unusual about it. Carter could certainly afford enchanting his place if he wanted to. This just seemed a bit extra for a muffin recipe. As he turned the next corner, he almost runs face first into something invisible. The impact is enough to smoosh his snout a bit. He shakes off the impact, wipes his face and reaches back out with his hand. Though it appears to be open air, there is definitely some sort of barrier there. Unlike the wall, this barrier is super smooth. So it’s not an invisible wall, it’s an energy barrier. That explains the lack of sound, a barrier literally nothing can cross. But that would mean they were cut off from the forest…they were already INSIDE THE BARRIER. A barrier you could walk into but not out of. Fish was walking right into a trap.